Haven’t done one in a hot minute, so let’s get to it: good
and bad things about last night's RAW in alternating fashion.
- Let’s get this out of the way: I love… love… LOVE angry Daniel Bryan. Angry Daniel Bryan is the best Daniel Bryan, and…holy shit, guys, he went in HARD on Stephanie McMahon. In his first segment as the #1 babyface in WWE, D-Bry did well for himself. He’s no B+, my man, my woman. He’s an A with two pluses, minimum. Side nugget: remember that time when WWE had nearly every top star out at the same time for about two months in 2001? Or when Smackdown had nearly every top star out at once in 2007? That’s sorta where WWE is right now. If D-Bry gets hurt, WWE’s in deep shit. That brings me to this…
- I hate that I have to have been
subjected to John Cena’s elbow to start RAW. I can’t unsee that. Thanks,
- I like that John Cena’s gonna go
away for a while. No, this isn’t Cena hate talking. This is a guy that
hasn’t had a lot of off time, and he and his character BOTH need it. I don’t
wish injury on anyone, but the injury couldn’t have come at a better time
for Cena…or worse for
- Seriously though: never show that elbow again. EVER.
- I hate what has become of Sin Cara. He was Triple H’s first signee back in 2010, and holy shit, has this dude flopped. And Sin Cara himself has to share in the blame. In three years, he’s spent about half of it on the DL, and when he is available, he has by many accounts not acclimated himself to the WWE style (nor his co-workers). His dislocated finger(s) may be the final straw for the man formerly known as Mistico.
- I may
be the in the minority, but I like
the pairing of Ricardo Rodriguez and Rob Van Dam. Yeah, I and all of
- Los Matadores are Epico and Primo, repackaged? I so do not like. Tell me, WWE, how has the repackaging of Joe Hennig worked out for you? Speaking of which…
- CM Punk going all “and you shut up, fat boy!” on some fat dude in the front row is awesome. I love that. Know what I also loved? Punk murdering the shit out of Curtis Axel. He has mattered for like two weeks total. And that includes his time as Michael McGillicutty.
- Anything involving Total Divas gets an automatic hate. Period. A new crop of divas cannot come fast enough.
- I love the GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE! from Roman Reigns. And I love Dolph Ziggler’s selling of said gore. It’s not a spear when Roman does it, and I will not refer to it as such.
- I hate that The Shield had to go twice last night. Hate it because two-thirds of The Shield are potentially hurt. Seth Rollins banged his knee pretty hard, and Roman Reigns, himself on the business end of a GORE from Big Show, practically liquefied his insides.
- Though the trio bringing down the hammer of justice (that’s what I call that three-man powerbomb) on Big Show is always awesome looking. Like that.
- Should have mentioned this earlier: I hate pantsuit Stephanie McMahon. It’s like her only outfit now on WWE programming. If you’re gonna be a heel, (a) get some new wardrobe, and (b) slut it up a little. There’s a way to make it work in PG WWE. Figure that shit out.
- Bray Wyatt referring to himself as the new face of fear? I like that, though if some combination of the Yet-tay, a dead Avalanche, Kevin Sullivan, and Ed “The Butcher” Leslie walk through that door with you, we’re gonna have to fight, okay? Thanks. Side nugget: people are clapping along to his theme song. It’s gonna be sing along in about two months.
- For about a year, I blasted Tensai on Twitter every time he came on my television. Guy was stealing money. That honor as of now goes to Wade Barrett, pit fighter. He’s done nothing of significance since getting his elbow blowed out. I hate this guy is on my TV.
- I did like, however, they paired him with two other wastes of time in the same segment: Fandango and The Miz, which, by the way, came off the heels of a 3MB versus Usos match. Remember when the Usos were a thing? Viewer dropoff’s gonna be huge, ya’ll. That leg drop from Fandango was the truth, though.
- I hate the Corporate Shield. It pretty much goes against the purpose of why they came to WWE in the first place. Just saying.
- I like heel COO H. And heel Randy Orton, dream killer (Christian, Chris Benoit, and Daniel Bryan’s first title runs all ended at the hands of Randy Orton). I also liked that they actually took a moment to explain why the two are paired up with the McMahons proper.
- What, COO H? You didn’t do it for The Rock? DO. NOT. LIKE. If you didn’t do it for The Rock, you did it wrong. Fuck you, Triple H.
- I like Daniel Bryan, little scrapper. After getting his ass handed to by The Shield, and handing them said ass, Daniel Bryan, with what little strength he had left, finally made it to the ring, only to get the business end of an RKO.
- Fuck it. I hated that ending. That shit depressed me. It also depresses me that about 75% of all RAWs from here to Wrestlemania 30 will end like that. But it’s necessary. If you’re gonna sell the underdog/redemption story, said underdog has to get his shit kicked in. A lot.
So we now have the storyline that will carry us through at
least football season: Daniel Bryan as a man alone against the WWE machine. And
he literally is a man alone. John Cena and Sheamus are likely out for the
remainder of the year, meaning he’ll be the babyface flagbearer. We’ll find out
sooner rather than later whether WWE can ride with Daniel Bryan long-term. More
importantly, we’ll find out if fans have the patience to stick out the ride
through its ups and many, many, many downs.
P.S. Notice how WWE made absolutely no mention of Darren
Young coming out last week? I like that.
I purposefully did that for this compliment sandwich. Plus the Primetime
Players were taking on the Real Americans. Sorry, but Jack Swagger’s a reason
to change the channel.
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