Where Have I Been?

Yikes. I just realized it's been almost a week since I wrote anything in here. Well, I'm in the process of moving... again. Second time this year, third time in a year and a half. Long story about why I'm moving after just three months, but that's for another day and that's not why you're here. You're here for me to say nice things about bad wrestling shows.

Today, I'll be watching another bad wrestling show: the 2004 Great American Bash. But first, a quick history lesson.

The brainchild of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes, The Great American Bash was originally an NWA event, first produced by Jim Crockett Promotions, then by WCW (in fact, The Great American Bash in 1991--another bad PPV I'll say nice things about later in the month--was the first major show under the WCW banner) in June or July (or in the case of 1986, August) every year from 1985 to 2000, except 1993 and 1994 for some strange reason. The rights to the name were of course acquired following the sale of WCW to the WWF in 2001, but was left dormant until 2004 when the WWE rebooted the concept.  WWE's version was a Smackdown-only PPV from 2004-2006 before becoming an interpromotional PPV from 2007 to its demise in 2009 when it was simply called The Bash. There was also a one-time reboot in 2012 when the name was used for a special live episode of Smackdown. To this day, it is the only WCW event to get a WWE reboot.

2004's version emanated from the Scope in Norfolk, Virginia; ironically, this would be the closest this event would get to its home for many years in WCW, Baltimore, Maryland. How shallow was the talent pool on Smackdown in 2004? Mind you, this was following the departure of the man pegged to be face of Smackdown and the WWE, Brock Lesnar. Luther Reigns, Mordecai, and Kenzo Suzuki all won a match on the show. All three would be gone by the following summer. This match also had the infamous concrete crypt handicap match between The Undertaker and The Dudley Boyz.

Is this PPV bad? Quoting from a few reviews:

From TUPWrestlingForm.com:

The Dudley's boys main evented the ppv, need I to explain anything else. Just a terrible card that featured the Billy Gunn facing off against the immortal Kenzo Suzuki.

From forums.wrestlezone.com:

That card is atrocious. Luther Reigns versus Charlie Haas? Kenzo Suzuki versus Billy Gunn? Mordecai versus Hardcore Holly? The next time you want to complain about a WWE or TNA pay-per-view, this event should be used as a point of reference for how things could be a whole lot worse. 

From funk1987.wordpress.com:

This one was another case where Smackdown fell  victim to Raw due to the draft lottery. Plus, the late great Eddie Guerrero dropped the strap to JBL in a bull rope match! And it gets worse, the Undertaker loses to the Dudley Boys in a concrete crypt match ,where poor Paul Bearer gets submerged in concrete to his death! 

Ok, that's fan opinion. How about something more authoritative?

Like JD Dunn of 411mania:

The Concrete Crypt match ranks as one of the single stupidest things I've ever seen in wrestling (and I've seen Abdullah the Butcher strapped in a chair and electrocuted). It's bad on so many levels that I don't even have the time or energy to go into them. On top of that, Undertaker has now squashed Kane, Booker T, the Dudleyz and JBL in successive PPVs. With the possible exception of the Dudleyz, all of those guys are heavily involved in the WWE's booking. That brings me to the other main souring point for most fans — JBL's title win. Look, I can't stand the guy either, but he's worked hard both in the ring and in promos to become the best heel he can be. So how do you build this guy up into the star that's going to draw big money…well, if you're the WWE, you have him win the title on a screwjob finish, lose in his first major title defense and get chokeslammed through the hood of his own limo. If you're going to push him, push him. If not, then don't give him the title. It's not that hard. Rey vs. Chavo was good. Eddy vs. Bradshaw was very good. The rest can go to hell. Strong recommendation to avoid.

KBsWrestlingReviews.com:

Overall Rating: R. As in returned like a bad steak at a restaurant.  Oh just no. I mean NO. This isn’t acceptable. Let’s see: attempted murder, actual murder, Bob Holly, Billy Gunn, Charlie Haas, and JBL, who at the time was a midcard guy for about ten years, is the new WWE Champion. This was AWFUL and while there are some ok matches, some of the things here simply are not acceptable whatsoever. Horrible show, and somehow it might get worse next year. 

Not exactly inspiring confidence, especially when the headline from that above review reads "this is the preferred torture method in 19 countries".

Maybe Dave Meltzer will have something nice to say about it:

Besides the final match being a travesty, the show was marred by four matches with almost no build-up until days before, thrown out, all of which were bad. The three consecutive matches with Billy Gunn vs. Kenzo Suzuki, Torrie Wilson vs. Sable, and Bob Holly vs. Mordecai were as bad as any three straight matches on a WWE PPV in recent memory. 

Scott Keith, maybe?

This match (the concrete crypt match), however, should have had a TV-14 rating on it, as in you must not have an IQ over 14 to enjoy it or the Undertaker's act these days. 

Yikes. Looks like a long afternoon may be ahead for me. I'll report back later.