Compliment Sandwich: i-Generation Superstars of Wrestling (aka Rodman Down Under)

Rodman Down Under (better known as i-Generation Wrestling Superstars of Wrestling, referred to here on as iGW) took place at the Sydney Superdome in Sydney, Australia on July 30, 2000. This was the only filmed event on iGW's tour of Australia, bringing together some wrestling legends. But at the time, getting competent legends was a tough task, as North America had a fully functioning WWF, a fully functioning (though slowly dying) WCW, and a fully functioning (though also slowly dying) ECW. Though the name i-Generation Wrestling suggested something new and innovative, the youngest male performer on the roster was Johnny Grunge at age 34. i-Generation? Try Baby Boom Generation.

The show is considered among wrestling pundits and fans as among the worst in wrestling history. And to think, people paid $24.95 for this back in 2000. Though the show took place on July 30, it didn't air in the United States until December. In fact, the weekend it aired, two of the three championships changed hands again.

So can i-Possibly say anything nice about this bargain bin PPV? Well, I found video of it, but the commentary is in German. Looks like I'll be watching this one on mute, which may not be a bad thing.

• Opening video package is mid-1990s WCW awful. But it at least establishes Dennis Rodman as the heel. So there’s that.
• The matchup screen looks like it could have been for a 16-bit fighting game.
• Vince Mancini and Ted DiBiase (yes, THAT Ted DiBiase) are doing commentary…for the American audience. But I’m watching the German version. And the announcers refer to themselves as Vince and Ted. Oh, and they’re in a studio. Green screen. What is this, 1986?
• Hey Worm! You’re Ugly! At least the creativity bar is low. BTW: many of the signs from the show were handed out.
• iGW champion Curt Hennig (aka the late Mr. Perfect) calls out Dennis Rodman to start. Set by the way is a weird hybrid of Nitro’s 1997 and 2000 sets.
• Why we’re starting the show with a promo? Time is money. Shut up and fight.
• Rodzilla killer in the front row, by the way. Nice.
• Public Enemy versus the Road Warriors for the iGW tag team titles. Public Enemy apparently are the tag champs heading in. Match was set up by PE jumping said Road Warriors in a press conference. This is a tables match.
• Way to finish that roll, Johnny Grunge. Grunge, if you missed the last post, is the youngest male performer on the show at age 34.
• Road Warriors (or Legion of Doom if you prefer). It saddens me that they’re coming out to some dance pop type music. It makes their 1998 theme tolerable.
• Grunge is hungry. Or something.
• Louie Anderson look-alike does not seem amused.
• I believe the hard camera shot is similar to that of No Mercy, WWF Attitude, and the recently released (at the time) WWF Smackdown. BTW: the game play difference between Smackdown and Attitude are night and day. But No Mercy blew them both away. I’d still take Smackdown over Attitude though.
• Ok, this is a tables match. Why do the teams have to tag in and out?
• Things I don’t miss about the Attitude Era: the crotch chop.
• Is Hawk going for a pin in a tables match?
• Hawk and Rock are the first two out. So it’s just Animal and Grunge for the belts. Rock with a chair, not that there are rules or anything.
• Animal battering rams Public Enemy into the table, and that’ll do it. Well, Grunge walks toward the table, but whateves. Road Warriors win the tag titles.
• Get used to those belts, by the way. They appear again on this show.
• Seriously. Road Warriors with techno music: no. Just… no.
• The i-Generettes appear for the first time. The Generettes are iGW’s answer to WCW’s Nitro Girls. I know a lot of smarks hate these little dance numbers, but they’re a harmless diversion if nothing else. The Nitro Girls are way better though. Just saying.
• Barbarian out first for this hardcore match. Barbarian was of course, one half (or one third) of the Faces of Fear in WCW.
• His opponent: Brute Force, aka Ed Leslie. You may know him as Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, or The Butcher, or Zodiac, or The Booty Man, or The Man with No Name, or the Man with No Face.
• That bell is unnatural sounding. I meant to point that out in the first match. Sounds like the bell from Jerry Springer.
• For those thinking there’s no such thing as a bad hardcore match, I present Barbarian versus Brute Force as the contrary.
• Swing and a miss on the steps that couldn’t weigh more than like six pounds.
• Crowd is super dead for this one, and I can’t blame them.
• And there’s your obligatory low blow. (The first match had quite a few. This is a recurring theme in this show.)
• Worst. Diamond Cutter. Ever.
• An awful diamond cutter, DDT, and piledriver don’t finish the match, but a boot to a trash can lid does. Okay.
• And would it kill you to sell the effects of the match on the way back, Bruti? Fuck.
• Wild Generettes appear.
• Women’s match next. Brandi Wine with Sugar Daddy (real name: Fred Ottman, best known as Tugboat, Typhoon, and…The Shockmaster). Sweet Destiny with Aussie Joe Bugner. Bugner, by the way, was born in Hungary. A side nugget about Aussie Joe: Bugner was the last man to defeat Britsh boxing legend Henry Cooper in 1971. The decision was quite controversial. Bugner also had a small role in the movie Street Fighter.
• And yes, it did sound like one of the German guys called Sweet Destiny Philadelphia Cunt.
• People seem to love Sweet Destiny and not Brandi Wine. This is probably the most alive this crowd has been since the show started. To quote KB’s Wrestling Reviews, in terms of looks, nothing to see here, especially with Trish Stratus at the peak of her hotness around this time.
• Hungarian…err…Aussie Joe puts the Shockmaster on his ass.
• Wait, the match is still going on?
• Yikes. Superplex looked bad.
• But it ends things, as Sweet Destiny, the “Philadelphia Cunt”, wins. Crowd approves.
• Once again, the Generettes.
• There’s still 45 minutes left in this video and only two matches left.
• One Man Gang vs. Tatanka for the iGW Australasian Championship. I guess that’s their term for Eurocontinental. Or something. In the video, it’s referred to as the International Heavyweight Championship. The belt looks suspiciously like the tag title belts from earlier in the show. Note how quick they cut away from said belt.
• At around 68 minutes, fans looks like are turning on the show. Trash is being thrown on the ramp in the direction of One Man Gang.
• And now they’re showering the ring with garbage. Yeah. They’re checking out.
• The match goes another 13 minutes (and a ref bump) before One Man Gang wins with an international object. That’s two out of two champions to lose tonight so far.
• Again, they quick cut from the championship belt.
• One last appearance by the golden-clad Generettes before we head into the main event, Mr. Perfect versus The Worm.
• How did two future Hall of Famers end up in Australia fighting for a title no one cared about? Hennig’s deal with WCW expired earlier that summer, and Dennis Rodman retired following a brief stint with the Dallas Mavericks, one that saw him get ejected twice in just 12 games. That takes some real talent.
• For those saying Curt Hennig was never a world champion, there ya go. Hennig was the iGW world champion. Hennig was also world champion in the dying days of the AWA, holding the title from May 1987-May 1988.
• Australian Outback rules by the way. Whatever that means.
• Rodman throws the referee out the ring, and somehow, that ends the match. The main event ends on a disqualification. Of course. Pull-apart brawl between the two post-match.
• There’s a post-match interview with Hennig and a highlight package to end, and that’s that.

The hook of Rodman Down Under was seeing Dennis Rodman in a wrestling match. I’m not sure why anyone would want to see Dennis Rodman in a wrestling match. But for those that did, well, you got him for ten minutes. Hope it was worth whatever money you spent on it. In my case, none. And it wasn’t. Perhaps the nicest thing I can say about Rodman Down Under: at least it wasn’t Heroes of Wrestling. And the Generettes were alright. I’d still take Kimberly, Stacy and the Nitro Girls crew though. Hell, I’d take the two beauties that walked out with Curt Hennig over the Generettes.

Compliment Sandwich: WCW Uncensored 1995

It’s been called one of the worst PPVs not just in WCW history, but wrestling history. WCW Uncensored 1995, winner of Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s Worst Major Show of the Year, took place on March 19 from the Tupelo Coliseum in Tupelo, MS. The idea of the show was to have rivalries settled without WCW’s Board of Governors involvement. There were just seven matches on the card, each with a varying stipulation: a “King of the Road” match where the competitors would have work their way from the back of a flatbed truck to the front, a martial arts match, a boxer versus wrestler bout, a Texas tornado tag match, two no-DQ matches, and a strap match.

This would be the first of six Uncensored events for WCW. Though WCW closed down its doors in March 2001, their final PPV was Greed. Besides the hook of potential out-of-control violence, one of the main selling points of the show was the debut of Hulk Hogan’s “ultimate surprise”. You, the wrestling viewer that paid somewhere around $25 for this show via dialing up your local cable provider (or undoubtedly more if you were in the building that night), probably assumed this would be the WCW debut of the Ultimate Warrior. Not so much. (1) that wouldn’t come for about 3½ years (following one last brief run in the WWF that flopped something awful), and (2) they got someone else to play a ripoff. They got a Renegade. But we’ll get there later.

• The opening was what it was for 1995. Nothing mindblowing. However, WCW did nicely put up the following disclaimer for the show: "The program you are about to see is a first in World Championship Wrestling. The following pay-per-view event, Uncensored, has been established due to the many grudges and differences which have developed between wrestlers over the past few months. With this in mind, the WCW Board of Governors has the following statement: Every match at Uncensored will occur without the sanction of the WCW board. The following matches have been agreed upon by all involved and will be held solely to settle any personal disputes. Get ready for a professional wrestling event like none other….it’s now time for WCW…Unauthorized, Unsanctioned and UNCENSORED." Almost makes me want to watch if I’ve never seen this before. But then again, I’ve already decided to watch, so here it goes.
• Tony, Bobby, and Mike Tenay are on the call. Well, more like Tony and Bobby, as Mike is doing backstage interviews for the show. This is Tenay’s first gig in WCW since the When Worlds Collide PPV the previous year. Interesting little nugget: every WCW announcer at the time did not want to do that show. They missed out: there was a five-star match that night that involved the late Eddie Guerrero and Art Barr.
• Why are Schiavone, Heenan and Tenay in tuxedos? For Uncensored? Really?
• Tenay working double duty, as he’s working the WCW hotline as well.
• Dustin Rhodes vs. Blacktop Bully to start. This is a King of the Road match. A little backstory: this was done in the outskirts of Atlanta a few days earlier. The match was heavily edited due to excessive blood (read: blood) by Rhodes and Bully. Blacktop Bully was Smash, best known as ½ of the legendary Demolition in WWF, while Dustin Rhodes was the “son of a plumber”, Dusty, and would go on to great fame as Goldust. BTW: as a result of the blood, which was against WCW policy at the time, both competitors were fired.
• It is a first, Heenan. Thankfully, there hasn’t been a second.
• It should be worth pointing out they’re fighting ON A MOVING TRUCK.
• It should also be worth pointing out that the buyrate for this PPV was 0.95, or approximately 380,000 buys. 380,000 people bought this? I refuse to believe that.
• The sun is setting on Tupelo. Or not.
• Considering this PPV took place at 7pm ET, the sun should be down already.
• Bobby Heenan being Bobby Heenan. So far, this is the only thing that’s making ths PPV tolerable. And I’m only 12 minutes in.
• There’s no church bus.
• Fucking hack edit job. And Smash being crotched in the worst possible way.
• Holy shit, Smash is halfway off the truck. This could end real bad.
• Blacktop Bully gets the horn and the win.
• And fireworks, for some reason.
• Following an interview, Meng versus Hacksaw Jim Duggan is up. This is a “Martial Arts Match”. Sonny Onoo is your referee for some reason. This is his WCW debut. Pinfall or KO to win, not that the crowd knows that.
• Some serious stalling here by Duggan.
• Yokozuna nerve hold by Meng.
• 3-point clothesline on the money, but Meng no-sells.
• Sweet Chin Music by Meng. And that’ll do it. Of course it helps that both Onoo and Col. Rob Parker both had a hold of Duggan.
• Johnny B. Badd vs. Arn Anderson in a boxer versus wrestler match. 10 three-minute rounds, with one-minute rests between rounds. Pin, submission, or ten-count KO to win. Is the 10-point must system in effect?
• Why are we asking about Jimmy Hart in the beginning?
• Two minutes in, and Anderson’s offense has been non-existent.
• Easily 10-8 for Badd through one round.
• After a brief moment of offense by Anderson to start the round, AA is down.
• Anderson sweeps the leg, but misses the elbow.
• And down goes AA again.
• Anderson taking some abuse in the torso. Three knockdowns for Anderson. Three knockdown rule is not in effect.
• Four knockdowns.
• Anderson with a free shot from behind post-bell and a DDT. Clearly someone’s been paying attention—it’s Uncensored. They can’t call it.
• Anderson clearly not waiting for Round 3 to begin.
• Round 3 begins with Johnny B. Badd on the outside.
• 10-7 Badd in the previous round on my card.
• And for the first time in the match, AA has a sustained advantage.
• Roc Finnegan trying to choke out Arn Anderson. And shit’s broken down.
• What do we call that round: 10-8 Anderson? Sounds about right.
• Finnegan cuts one of the gloves. And Arn is trying to get any advantage.
• Round 4, and Arn has a bucket over his head to start. That’s not good.
• Anderson down with a big right and a big left, and Arn’s down. The crowd is apeshit. He’s sleep.
• Johnny B. Badd by KO at 30 seconds of Round 4.
• Not gonna lie, but I liked this match. Straight boxing for about six minutes, then wrestling for about five, then comedy to wrap it up. Harmless fun.  
• Macho Man promo. GET THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! I’LL KNOCK YOU OUT! NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! Yeah, Tenay. Who do you think you are? Dude wrestled in front of 90,000 people once. Who the fuck is you?
• “Macho Man” Randy Savage versus Avalanche, no disqualification. Remember this. There will be a quiz in a moment.
• Here’s a little nugget: despite both having been employed by the WWF for about four years, the two never met in a one-on-one match until this point.
• Random thought: this is the first of three matches in a row in which at least one participant is dead now. In this case, the only person alive is the referee Nick Patrick.
• We’re calling rope breaks? Really?
• Countouts? I thought were under no rules.
• Sunset flip by Macho Man… well, how did you expect that to go? Fuck.
• That was three on that rollup.
• And a fan runs up on Savage. Clearly, security is not working this PPV.
• That is Ric Flair in drag.
• RIC FLAIR IN DRAG.
• RIC FLAIR. IN DRAG.
• Hulk Hogan. Thankfully, not in drag,
• RIC FLAIR IS IN DRAG. FUCK MY LIFE.
• Macho Man wins by disqualification.
• MACHO MAN. BY DISQUALIFICATION. IN A NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH. Cue Cornette face.
• FLAIR IN DRAG FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I couldn’t agree more, Schiavone.
• Sting versus Big Bubba Rogers up next. Anything goes. So… no DQ like the last match. Big Bubba is best remembered as The Big Boss Man, aka Ray Traylor. Yes, that Boss Man that got hung up on a cell that one time.
• Bubba has the look of a Chicago gangster.
• And Sting is of course Sting. Blonde Sting.
• Big Bubba Rogers is big. And fat.
• Ass drop on a hat. I have officially seen everything.
• Fat ass Bubba working on the knee of Sting. Smart strategy if you think about it.
• Fans do not seem to approve.
• Holy shit, this match has slowed to a crawl.
• Sting apparently has blown out his knee…twice at least by 1995.
• Holy shit, Bubba gotta have a broken freaking neck off that German suplex.
• Sting’s knee craps out on an attempted scoop slam, and Big Bubba wins. Wow. The air just came out of the building.
• Tornado rules match: Harlem Heat versus the Nasty Boys. And the tag belts are on the line. I thought this was Uncensored. WCW officials had nothing to do with this. So we have a sanctioned title match on this PPV? Wait, what?
• Sister Sherri out with the tag belts. But no Harlem Heat.
• Nasty Boys are here. Where’s Harlem Heat?
• Paging Booker T and Stevie Ray.
• There they are. From behind to start. Hardcore tornado rules.
• They just slam dunked Knobbs.
• Gonna need two referees for this one I’m afraid.
• Sherri’s in.
• And her face is in Knobbs’ armpit.
• That’ll mess up her makeup. –Bobby Heenan. I disagree. That may be an improvement.
• They’re fighting in the concession stands. And it’s a mess. I didn’t realize this until reading about this PPV this morning: the concession stand brawl is a nod to one that took place in the same town in 1979. The brawl is considered to be a benchmark for early hardcore wrestling.
• There’s mustard everywhere.
• Everybody’s slipping.
• And Sherri nearly loses her top.
• And there goes the funnel cake stand.
• And the bell rings. Nasty Boys win. Ohhhhhhhhhkay….
• Knobbs pins Booker T with a fall forward slam.
• Apparently, this was not a title match. The Nasty Boys do win the belts about two months later.
• Michael Buffer with the intro. Sanctioned by the WCW Board of Directors. Wait, what?
• Anyways, main event time. Hulk Hogan vs. Vader in a non-title leather strap match. This is not to be confused with the Yappapi Indian strap match from the same event in 2000.
• Vader out first with Ric Flair. Still with eyeliner on.
• Hogan out next with no Jimmy Hart, and no ultimate surprise.
• Where is the renegade?
• Fuck. I just realized that Randy Anderson not only died, he’s been dead for over a decade. Cancer sucks, yo.
• Renegade in at 150 miles an hour and what not. And he’s all up in Ric Flair’s face. Looks like Flair’s gonna be watching from afar.
• Seriously though, the people were expecting Ultimate Warrior. Not cool, WCW. Not cool.
• Random thought: show of hands if you thought nearly 20 years later, the real Ultimate Warrior is still alive and the fake one would be dead.
• Match apparently will proceed without a referee.
• And Flair gets back to ringside. Some block Renegade is.
• Hogan’s biting Vader.
• A wild Renegade appears. And he’s doing his job. He gonna kill Ric Flair.
• Flair back at ringside.
• It’s a Vader splash, Schiavone.
• A wild Jimmy Hart appears.
• Three chairshots and Vader won’t go down.
• A fourth one puts him down.
• I believe that is #1.
• Quickly followed by #2.
• About twelve minutes in there’s been no attempt to win this match.
• Hogan’s up. Of course.
• Masked man with chair to Renegade. Then Ric Flair with chair to Hulk Hogan.
• Vader had the match in hand, but he misses a tuck and roll from the second rope. Way to go, ass.
• Flair with chair to Hogan…and Hogan is piiiiiiissssssssseeeeed.
• Hogan’s hooked Flair to the strap. Hogan’s barely hooked himself.
• Hogan takes the lap around, and apparently it counts. DA FUQ?
• It’s 3-on-2. And Arn Anderson’s tied up. Ut oh.
• A wild Macho Man appears.
• Yeah. And scene.
• My God, this is awful. I need a shower after that.

In a year that had a 38-minute 30-man Royal Rumble, Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, Diesel vs. Mabel, a monster truck sumo match on top of a building (all as main events), and an entire PPV that took place on an actual beach, the show that was deemed “uncensored, uncut, unbelievable” proved to be the exact opposite on two counts (not uncensored, and definitely not uncut), and so unbelievable my words alone cannot do it justice. The show has exactly one decent match, but is so plodding in parts, I can’t in good conscience recommend watching it. I can’t even bring myself to say anything nice about WCW Uncensored 1995.  

Unsanctioned, Uncut, Unauthorized, Unbelievable, Unsuitable for Human Consumption

If you were a fan of WCW, you had to put up with a lot of hot garbage. Truthfully, in the mid-1990s, if you were a fan of any major promotion in the United States, you had to put up with a lot of hot garbage. But hey, at least it was safe for children to watch. After all, you didn’t have to worry about things such as swearing or blood or other adult-like things that television was increasingly getting filled with. Remember when everyone made a big stink (no pun intended) of Dennis Franz’s naked ass on NYPD Blue? At least in wrestling, you didn’t have to worry about such a thing.

In fact, if you watched WCW, you didn’t have to worry about such a thing…pretty much ever. Because of Turner’s standards and practices, there was no blood, swearing, man-on-woman violence, or other adult-like things to worry about on WCW programming. It was family friendly, by God. (By late 1999, WCW would change their tune pretty much entirely, but that’s a different story.) Well, except for one night a year. That one night: Uncensored.

WCW Uncensored is often said to be a precursor to the WWE PPV Extreme Rules, but a more accurate analogy would be the ECW One Night Stand PPV that WWE put on in 2005 and 2006. It would be the one night of the year that anything goes and every match on the show was deemed unsanctioned by WCW. The following disclaimer ran in the opening moments of the first edition in 1995:

"The program you are about to see is a first in World Championship Wrestling. The following pay-per-view event, Uncensored, has been established due to the many grudges and differences which have developed between wrestlers over the past few months. With this in mind, the WCW Board of Governors has the following statement: Every match at Uncensored will occur without the sanction of the WCW board. The following matches have been agreed upon by all involved and will be held solely to settle any personal disputes. Get ready for a professional wrestling event like none other….it’s now time for WCW…Unauthorized, Unsanctioned and UNCENSORED."

A few things of note: this is pre-Nitro, pre-Cruiserweight division, and just happened to occur on the same week Michael Jordan’s return to basketball after a fifteen-month “retirement” and Mike Tyson being released from jail after spending three years on rape charges. Bobby Heenan lumping this with Vader ending Hulkamania to call it the biggest week in the history of sports is classic Bobby Heenan. It would also be incorrect. I don’t know what the correct answer would be, but if you have an idea, let me know.

The 1995 edition, emanating from the wrestling hotbed that is the Tupelo Coliseum in Tupelo, Mississippi, is one of the worst PPVs of all time. So bad that Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer Newsletter named it the Worst Major Wrestling Show of the Year (the 1996 sequel also took home that “honor”). The show featured just seven matches, but it had quite the variety: a Texas tornado tag match, a “King of the Road” match, a strap match, even a boxer vs. wrestler match.

But how bad can it really be?

KB’s Wrestling Reviews: 

Overall Rating: O. As in oh what do you think I’m going to give this show? This is freaking terrible. The thing is though, the idea actually isn’t that bad: a hardcore PPV. The problem is it was about as thrown together as you could ask for. None of the gimmicks made any sense and the regular matches were boring. Also the main event being non title makes it sound weak. 

Jack Bramma of 411mania in 2012: 

They have a special circle in hell for wrestling shows like this. This thing will suck your soul dry of all the humanity inside you. Please, don't watch this. But if you MUST, you have to be under the same cocktail of influences that the booking committee was at the time. 

Scott Keith: 

The show is brutally bad, but it’s brutally bad in a Vince Russoish car crash sort of way, rather than WCW’s usual brutally boring sort of bad.
 That’s probably about the nicest thing I can think of to say about this show, and as my mother always says, if you can’t say anything nice about a show, don’t say anything at all… 

Good thing I had some cocktails and an energy drink. I’ll probably need it to get through this travesty. 

Spring Stampede 2000: A Live Ctrl+Alt+Del Exercise

In early spring 2000, the WWF was pretty much getting its act together. Though the Attitude was still there from the past couple years, much of its over-the-top controversy that got them over them hump against WCW was gone. In its place were storylines that made more logical sense and better in-ring action. They were coming off a good, but not great Wrestlemania that had a result that shocked everyone: Triple H, the top heel and WWF Champion, won the main event match. He was the first WWF Champion to successfully defend since his friend Kevin “Diesel” Nash did so at Wrestlemania XI, and the first heel to win the main event match of the signature show (sorry, Yokozuna, you don’t count). Though they were not doing the record numbers in ratings from the previous year, they were firmly entrenched as the top wrestling promotion in North America.

WCW in spring 2000: not so much. Six months earlier in a major coup, WCW brought in Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara to turn the company around. This was following the firing of Eric Bischoff, the man overseeing the rise and subsequent fall of WCW. The Russo-Ferrara regime ruffled many feathers in WCW, and after just three months, they were sent away in favor of a booking committee headed by Kevin Sullivan. That proved to be the final straw for a number of wrestlers, notably Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, and Eddie Guerrero. Not even putting the world title on Benoit could sooth the situation, and the quartet left for the WWF. Inexplicably, the Sullivan booking committee left WCW in a worse condition than Russo and Ferrara, and after just three months, both Russo and Bischoff were called back to fix a broken WCW. Their solution: blow it up following their annual Spring Break show and start over on April 10. On that night, everyone holding a championship at the time were stripped of it and had to win it back in a match or a tournament. The night also set the course of WCW over the spring and early summer: two warring factions, one, a group of established veterans known as the “Millionaires Club”; the other, a group of talent pushed aside for said veterans in the “New Blood”.

Less than a week later, we get the first PPV of this angle and of the Russo-Bischoff era, Spring Stampede. Eminating from the United Center in Chicago, the night mainly served as a purpose to crown all new champions. There were fourteen matches on the card, five more than Wrestlemania 2000 which took place two weeks earlier (and ran a few minutes longer than Spring Stampede). Ten of the matches were tournament matches to crown tag team and United States champions (seven of the fourteen matches involve the US title alone), while the world title match main event was a final from the tournament that took place during that week. The cruiserweight and hardcore titles were one-off matches to determine a new champion. And for some reason, Mancow wrestled. Yeah.

So, is it bad? Let’s find out.

From Unchained Entertainment: 

Spring Stampede is by FAR the best WCW PPV of 2000 thus far. It still has a lot of flaws though. 

I guess that’s high praise considering what came before it.

Arnold Furious of 411mania, what say you? 

Surprisingly refreshing after a dearth of horrible bottom feeding PPV’s. Of course compared to good shows this still isn’t up to much.

Okay, it’s… it’s promising. Scott Keith?

Still, the show was entertaining enough for a thumbs in the middle, but that’s under the “throw enough shit at the wall and eventually something sticks” theory of booking, and I can’t foresee them maintaining that frenetic pace for long without the fans getting tired of it. Well, better this than Sullivan or Nash, I guess.

KB’s Wrestling Reviews: 

D. If you’re a fan of tournaments, RUN out and find a copy of this show because it’s all your fantasies come true. Otherwise, it’s three hours of sloppy brawling in place of wrestling and a total of maybe two watchable matches out of 13. This was a nothing show and shows the problems of rebooting the freaking company six days before a PPV. Not a fan of this at all as the company was on the verge of its final downward spiral due to Russo booking the company so far into the ground it couldn’t see the light of day. Bad show due to the booking being WAY too overdone.

DDT Digest:

Wow! I hope I'm not exaggerating too much (as I've been known to do), but since I've been covering WCW pay-per-views for Bill, this was by far the best. There was not a stinker match in the bunch. Even the ones that had the potential to suck, like the Funk-Smiley and the match were great. Even the Mancow-Jimmy Hart match was well done and pretty funny. Mike Awesome was simply incredible in his WCW debut. Hogan actually did something I liked. Tammy Sytch showed up. Tony Schiavone said "bulls-t." Overall, the show was fast-paced, as were the matches, and I haven't seen the "Millionaires' Club" work their butt off like this in a long time. The thing that fired me up most is that it looks like they're setting up Booker for a huge run. The only weird thing was the whole Vampiro/Sting thing. It was interesting, but weird. This one will be hard to follow up tomorrow night. One thing's for sure, I wanna see Nitro tomorrow night, and that's the first time I can honestly say that in a long time.

Wow. We’re all over the place with this one. Guess I gotta see the carnage for myself. Can a wrestling company start over and put together a decent PPV in a single week? Can I say nice things about said PPV? Answer later.

Side nugget: this was WCW's second world title tournament in less than a year. They had one (32-man tournament...well, more like 31 men and a woman... or something... six months earlier.)

Compliment Sandwich: Great American Bash 2005

When 2005 began, many people were wondering who would be the man that would carry the WWE into the future. After all, the people that were most recently pegged to do so were all gone: The Rock to Hollywood and semi-retirement in 2002, Stone Cold Steve Austin to injury and forced retirement in 2003, and in 2004, Brock Lesnar to the NFL (or at least anything not WWE).

By Wrestlemania 21, they had found two men: John Cena and Dave Bautista. They had both come up through their farm system, Ohio Valley Wrestling, and debut in the summer of 2002. Despite terrible first gimmicks (plucky underdog and "deacon"), they broke through in 2004, and by the end of the 21st Wrestlemania in Los Angeles, it was clear they were the men of the future. This was a first for the "draft era": John Cena would lead the charge on Smackdown, while Dave Bautista would do the same on RAW. 

But the 2005 Draft Lottery changed all that. The two leading men would be the first and last men transferred in that draft lottery, sending Cena to RAW (and, in essence, making it its flagship show again), while Batista got shuttled to Smackdown. 

The Batista move is one of the stories surrounding the 2005 edition of The Great American Bash. The show took place on July 24 in Buffalo, just three and a half weeks after Batista was sent to Smackdown with his world title. John "Bradshaw" Layfield won a match he thought was for the "Smackdown Championship" (when Cena moved to RAW, that left Smackdown without a world champion), but instead was basically told by Teddy Long that he had to win one more match to be called champion. The other major feuds involved the continuing drama between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio and The Undertaker and another lottery selection Muhammad Hassan. The terrorist overtones of the angle forced WWE to end it prematurely under threat of being tossed from UPN.

The show is generally looked upon about as well as its 2004 counterpart, which is to say not well at all. And when the DVD was released, they knew it. One of the extras is a match from the 1990 Great American Bash between Ric Flair and Sting. When you have to dig in the archives to get people to buy the DVD, you didn't do a good job with the show.

Nonetheless, I'll try and say something nice about it. I don't even know if I can do it. Here we go.

• Opening package. Awesome.
• Tag title match to start. MNM (Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, and Melina) versus LOD 2005 (Animal and Heidenreich).
• Melina’s entrance… epic.
• Not sure how Animal (who is Fat Animal, like 2001 Animal in WCW) and Heidenreich got together, but whateves.
• BTW: the only reason this match exists and why Fat Animal has a job in WWE is because they have to push that Road Warriors DVD. At least they weren’t hiding it, I suppose.
• And because John Laurianitis is the brother of the dead half of the real LOD, Hawk.
• And I believe it’s post Heidenrape.
• LOD 2005 wins. Meh match. At least the crowd was engaged. Probably because of Fat Animal.
• Melina’s pissed. But she can’t grieve forever: she’s got a match later.
• Josh Matthews’ hair is out of control. Eddie Guerrero looks high, drunk, or both.
• Ok, now Eddie no longer looks high or drunk.
• Christian vs. Booker T up next. Christian damn near killed Booker dead two weeks before setting up the match.
• Christian just as he is beginning his Captain Charisma days.
• I loved Waterproof Blonde’s version of “Just Close Your Eyes”.
• “ALALALALA” sign in the second row. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh…
• Sharmell will smack a bitch.
• Christian went after Sharmell…and got the Rock Bottom. That should have been the finish. Hate that wasn’t the finish.
• Stop breaking the count damnit!
• Scissors kick from the second rope…nice!
• Major cleavage by Melina. I LOVE!
• Orlando Jordan coming out to dead silence. Inexplicable that to this point he’s been United States Champion for four months.
• Chris Benoit so got jobbed. Fuck Orlando Jordan.
• The good news is this would be corrected the next month at Summerslam. In a 25-second opener.
• Orlando’s theme music sucks too.
• Standing ovation for Benoit. He carried Orlando Jordan, who sucks major ass, to something awesome. Good for you, Buffalo, for reacting correctly.
• Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan in a #1 contender’s match is next. Ultimately, the stipulation turns out to be useless, but here’s the controversy in a nutshell: Davari caught a beatdown by Undertaker, then Undertaker gets choked out by piano wire by a group of “terrorist-type” folks in masks led by Hassan. Then Davari gets carried out by said group in a martyr-type fashion. A bit edgy, yes? Well, here’s the problem. While the show taped on the 4^th of July, it aired on the 7^th of July, the same day of the London terrorist attacks. WWE caught a lot of heat for the angle, particularly from UPN, threatening them to kick them off their network if Hassan appeared again on Smackdown. Seeing that (a) WWE still had a year left on their deal with Viacom, and (b) they didn’t wanna end up like TNA (who at the time had no TV deal at all), WWE caved in.
• Fuck. Even I got uncomfortable watching that promo.
• Terrorists, Tazz. Terrorists. Or an Invader tribute band.
• Hassan saying that if he fails, he’ll never show his face on Smackdown again. Foreshadowing, kids.
• Terrorists doing their best Nexus/Shield impersonation.
• Fucking terrorists man.
• Of course Hassan lied. He’s a terrorist or at least he rolls with them. As someone once said, tell me who you’re with and I’ll tell you who you are.
• Terrorist with the piano wire. The fuck, man.
• Hassan with the camel clutch. No. Not racist at all.
• Electric chair…and the five moves of doom. Or something. Terrorists getting fucked up.
• Terrorists, Cole. It’s okay.
• Chokeslam does it. And here they come again.
• Undertaker’s had enough of their shit.
• Piano wire guy gets dropped on his fucking head.
• Davari head first through the front of the announce table.
• Hassan’s crawling away. But one doesn’t simply run from Undertaker.
• And that’ll do it for Hassan. Last Ride through the stage.
• Didn’t like the beatdown. Lasted way too long. Was there no way to condense that into like four minutes or something?
• So if you’re scoring at home, Undertaker in consecutive Great American Bash PPVs has killed Paul Bearer and killed Muhammad Hassan.
• Torrie Wilson is here to make us all feel a better.
• The Mexicools versus the Blue World Order. Yeah, I’m gonna skip this.
• And speaking of things that make me uncomfortable, the direction the EVIL Eddie Guerrero-Rey Mysterio feud has turned at this point.
• Remember when Vickie Guerrero was kinda hot?
• Still kinda sucks that the last significant feud Eddie had was the one involving Dominick. Makes me wanna puke.
• But hey, we get an Eddie Guerrero-Rey Mysterio match. There’s no such thing as a bad Guerrero-Mysterio match. That’s a fact.
• EVIL Eddie Guerrero looks high.
• Rey Mysterio with his son Dominick. Since Eddie is running Rey to keep the big secret locked away, Dominick has to watch from ringside.
• Code of Honor got a little creepy there.
• Pedo Guerrero? Not cool. Using Dominick as a shield? Not cool. So not cool.
• EVIL Eddie Guerrero is entertaining if nothing else. In the last three years of his life, he figured it out, and he put it all together. No wonder why he got fast tracked to the WWE Hall of Fame posthumously.
• Goddamnit, stop being Pedo Guerrero.
• This is easily the best match on the board, but Dominick is so taking away from this match.
• Oh, he has more than a few friends in that building, Tazz.
• EVIL EDDIE GUERRERO BRAINBUSTER!
• Wow. The Prince Iaukea finish. Loved the ending, hated the execution. Here’s why: from frog splash to crucifix rollup was all of seven seconds. Rey took five suplexes, a brainbuster, and a frog splash. Recovery time should have been a lot longer than seven seconds. In WWE ’13, you don’t recover from that in seven seconds.
• Guerrero getting in the face of a fan. Fan be like, I don’t care, dude. I got this sweet cowboy hat, you got nothing.
• Of course, the match ultimately meant nothing: EVIL Eddie revealed the secret four days later on Smackdown.
• JBL looks ridiculous as fuck.
• Bra and panties match next. Candice Michelle is referee for some reason. Also wearing a garter for some reason.
• EVIL Melina looking way overclothed. And not doing her entrance. And those pants. No. Just… no. All sorts of no.
• Torrie Wilson kinda sorta channeling her inner Lita.
• Ineffective abdominal stretch proves super effective.
• Torrie’s sans top.
• Candice Michelle be like, “this is a legitimate match, yo.”
• Torrie loses pants, and it’s an upset win for Melina…
• …who still loses her pants.
• Candice, the referee, also down to her bra and panties. I guess we can call the taste of the Guerrero-Mysterio match officially washed.
• Main event is up: Batista vs. JBL for the World Heavyweight Championship.
• JBL still looks ridiculous as fuck.
• Not sure if he’s fighting for the World Heavyweight Championship or running for mayor of Buffalo.
• Batista, the first man to main event consecutive brand-exclusive PPVs for different shows (Vengeance in June, Great American Bash in July), complete with pooping pyro. I kinda enjoyed the pooping pyro.
• It’s 300-pounder-with-limited-moveset-and-power-game-on-300-pounder-with-limited-moveset-and-power-game crime. This should be fun.
• Batista be like, “pitch and catch at the backyard”.
• That’s true, Tazz. Muscle loses to steel every time. Sometimes muscle loses by like seven.
• Ok, I know I’m supposed to say nice things, but I just fast forwarded about six minutes. This match…is…boring. If you have trouble sleeping at night, just put this match on.
• I mean, this is supposed to be a slugfest, but this is the worst kind.
• Did the DVD cut out a couple minutes?
• Of course Batista kicked out, dumbass. What did you fucking expect to happen?
• Nick Patrick is down, and it is bad. Batista did push the ref into JBL though.
• Batista busted for steel chair use. PPV ends on a DQ, and Batista loses his shit. Hate, hate, hate.
• Demon bomb to OJ, demon bomb to JBL.
• The original plan was for Muhammad Hassan to get his comeuppance at Summerslam against Batista, but corporate hubris and real-life events killed those plans, so we get this garbage finish.

There are two kinds of bad wrestling shows: ones that are bad, yet oddly entertaining (like some WCW shows in 2000), and ones that are bad and boring. The Great American Bash 2005 falls in the latter category. To the surprise of no one, the surviving members of the Smackdown Six (Guerrero, Mysterio, Benoit) deliver the goods. But the emotion of this PPV is tepid at best. The custody angle comes off as hokey, and the terrorist angle comes off as dumb. Still though, I do recommend Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. And the ladies looked good. I mean, as Scott Keith once said, it’s hard to screw up a bra and panties match.

The rest: not so much. 

Compliment Sandwich: The Great American Bash 2004

The reboot of The Great American Bash took place on June 27, 2004 from the Norfolk Scope in Norfolk, Virginia. This was the same building where D-Generation X ran up on WCW Nitro's lawn just hours before they went on the air. It was the first time the event was held since WCW held its final edition in 2000. There were eight matches on the card, headlined by a Texas Bullrope match for the WWE Championship between Eddie Guerrero and challenger John "Bradshaw" Layfield and a handicap concrete crypt match between The Undertaker and WWE Tag Team Champions The Dudley Boyz, where if Undertaker didn't "do the right thing" by Paul Heyman, Taker's long-time manager Paul Bearer would be encased in concrete.

It's been called one of the worst PPVs WWE has ever produced. Dave Meltzer of Wrestling News Observer called the main event "a travesty" and went on to "win" Worst Worked Show of the Year that year. KB's Wrestling Reviews called it "torture". IMDB reviewers: "the worst piece of horse-crap I've ever seen trying to pass itself off as a wrestling p.p.v.", "PLAIN RUBBISH", "Just F'N awful", "it makes me wonder what ever happened to the heart of the WWE. Skip this pay per view by any means." Hell, even I put it in the dirty dozen of the worst PPVs ever.

So... with all that negativity surrounding this event, can I possibly say anything nice about it? Anything? Anything?

• Opening was kinda cool.
• Torrie looked good though. Just saying.
• John Cena in the old Michael Vick #7 Virginia Tech jersey with the US Championship belt. Pre-spinner, by the way. While it still mattered. Show opens with a four-man eliminator for the belt.
• I always hated Rene Dupree. Fuck him.
• Side nugget: three months prior, Booker T and Rob Van Dam were the world tag champions on RAW together. The Dudley Boyz were also in that match.
• Never, ever understood why WWE does multi-man matches in this manner: two in the ring, everyone else rests. I mean, I see why they do it. I just hate that they do it. If you’re in the match, fucking engage man.
• RVD does two five-star frog splashes, then gets okeydoked into elimination by Cena. Yeah….no.
• Kurt Angle as Lex Luthor. I kinda enjoyed it.
• Charlie Hass with future wife Miss Jackie. Looking good.
• Sable looking all star-spangled out too. If I’m not mistaken, Sable was gone not long after this. (Wikipedia check: less than two months later)
• I totally forgot: Smackdown kinda got fucked up real bad in the 2004 Draft Lottery.
• Ouch. Broken freaking neck maneuver by Luther Reigns. Yup, he just beat former tag champion Charlie Haas. Nobody cared.
• Another Rey Mysterio-Chavo Guerrero match? Really?
• My God, the commentary for this match is asinine. There’s being a smart ass, and there’s being stupid, and we’re treading dangerous waters here.
• Not a holy shit moment. But pretty damn impressive though with the senton from the top rope to the floor. At least the crowd is engaged.
• 15 minutes plus. Not gonna lie, but the cruiserweight title match has been pretty good.
• Mysterio with the sunset flip pin reversal from the Gory Bomb. Nice finish.
• Funaki with the proper reaction to Torrie Wilson.
• This match was set up just three days before the PPV: Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn. Must… try…to care.
• Nothing says “All-American” like a former King of the Ring winner whose push got buried in eleven words: “Bob? But my name’s Billy--It doesn’t matter what your name is!”
• Suzuki wins with an inverted DDT backbreaker thingie. Nobody cared.
• Not even sure what Sable was wearing. But whateves. Looks good from the back though.
• Torrie looks good too. BTW: the divas match, made three days before the show. I think half the show was made three days before.
• Tazmaniac reference.
• Wow… a little too much snap on the neck, Sable.
• Sable’s dead weight. Possibly dead. Stop the match, little Naitch.
• Fuck that ending six ways to Sunday. Fucking referee.
• BIG FEET, DAWN. FOCUS.
• BTW: In the WWE DVD version, the stock theme replaced was an unused version of the theme soon to be known as Mr. Kennedy.
• Mordecai vs. Hardcore Holly: the third match on this show (at least) that was made on the Thursday before the PPV).
• I know I’m supposed to say nice things about this, but even I have standards. I’m skipping this match on principle. Mordecai wins with the Razor’s Edge, by the way.
• Texas bullrope match. Strap match rules apply (touch four corners in a row to win). Competitors must stay attached to rope at all times. An intentional removal = DQ.
• We have a cowbell. How nice.
• And corner lights.
• The Judgment Day spot. Bradshaw bleeds, though not nearly as much.
• Guerrero got fucked up on that toss to the Spanish table. No break. No bueno.
• Ok, now Bradshaw’s bleeding.
• Cowbell right in the cowbell. That’s a perfect description, isn’t it?
• And now the Strap Match Ending™.
• Eddie wins! Eddie wins! Eddie wins!
• Fuck.
• Fuck.
• Fucking fuck fuckerty fuck. Eddie Guerrero’s one and only world title run ended on that.
• Crowd reacts correctly. About as correctly as can be without chanting “bullshit”. I totally wouldn’t have blamed them for chanting it though.
• Fuck.
• Life truly isn’t fair. Vince’s pet project #433 goes over the people’s choice. Fuck.
• Concrete Crypt match next. This, by the way, is the main event. Fuck me.
• Dudleys and Paul Heyman out first. Dudleys are the WWE Tag Team Champions.
• Undertaker and his awesome entrance. There’s no such thing as a not-awesome Undertaker entrance.
• Doing the right thing (as if you haven’t figured it out already) was for the Undertaker to lay down for the Dudleys.
• Not 13 years, Cole. They separated for about two in the late 90s. Then all of the early 2000s during the American Bad Ass era. So… more like seven. But close.
• Keep waiting, Bubba.
• Calling the Undertaker a bad dog? Hate. Hate. Hate.
• Undertaker wins. Of course.
• And it was Undertaker himself that pulled the lever to finish the concrete crypt. And that’s the last we see of Bearer until 2010.

Wow. This PPV basically encapsulates the state of Smackdown post-Smackdown Six and post-Draft Lottery 2004. It was unwatchable. Wrestlemania XV is practically unwatchable today, but at least you feel good when you’re done. Not here. After the cruiserweight match, you get three matches made on less than a week’s notice that no one cared about, followed by a WWE title match with a Dusty finish, followed by one of the worst main events in wrestling history. No wonder people left there thinking they just came from a funeral. At least the title matches are worth your time. The best thing about Great American Bash 2004: scroll up. Though the 2005 poster is way better.

Compliment Sandwich: Wrestlemania XV

Full disclosure: this Wrestlemania holds a special place in my heart. It’s the first Wrestlemania I watched on PPV (watched it with a couple of my brothers), and a couple years ago, I got it on DVD. Not the Wrestlemania Anthology version: the original version (which, along with Sable: Unleashed, was the first DVD produced by the WWF).

Full disclosure again: this show is awful, especially when you hold it up against today’s product. It’s not on the level of IV, IX, and XI, but it barely clears the bar. Barely (on the strength of the main event alone). But among the “bad” Wrestlemanias, this is my favorite.

Wrestlemania XV took place from the First Union Center (today named the Wells Fargo Center) in Philadelphia on March 28, 1999, just a day shy of a year since Stone Cold Steve Austin first won the WWF title and set the wrestling world on fire. Since that day, the WWF had a renaissance. Once left for (and declared) dead by WCW executive vice-president Eric Bischoff, the WWF had caught and, in recent months, surpassed its rival in their head-to-head Monday night programming.

This was in part due to a style of wrestling programming dubbed “Crash TV” by head writer Vince Russo. His idea: have as many things happen as possible so as to keep the viewer constantly engaged. Matches were merely background noise for the stories surrounding them. Characters were outlandish and controversial. And there was always a surprise or swerve around the corner. As crazy as the idea was, it worked for the WWF, as they saw record ratings and revenue. Of course, having the McMahon filter certainly helped, as WCW would find out a year later.

Oh, in true Attitude Era fashion, the tagline for this Wrestlemania: The Ragin’ Climax. Can I make nice with this edition with the “Showcase of the Immortals”? Let’s find out.

• Boyz II Men doing “America the Beautiful”. Promising start.
• Love the opening with Classy Freddie Blassie.
• Cole and Lawler on the call. No. Just… no. Yes, I fully understood the situation regarding Jim Ross around this time (Bell’s Palsy from a couple months back).
• Smart call to start Wrestlemania XV with a hardcore title match. First person through the curtain: Al Snow, a former ECW combatant. Did I mention the ECW Arena’s not too far from the First Union Center?
• Billy Gunn inexplicably in the hardcore title match with Al Snow and “Hardcore” Bob Holly. No. Do not like.
• “LET’S GO FLYERS!” “ECW!” At least Philly is engaged.
•  Al Snow and Hardcore Holly would go on to be trainers on the original Tough Enough a couple years later.
• Billy Gunn does the work, Bob Holly reaps the reward. Sucks for Billy. I believe Billy’s the first to lose his title at Wrestlemania without actually being beat for it.
• Not even 30 seconds after the opener, we go to the tag title match. The challengers were decided in this manner: 20-man preshow battle royal, last two become a team for the night. In true Russo fashion, the final two don’t get along. Those two: D-Lo Brown and Test.
• What is Debra almost wearing? (Side nugget: Debra recently became a college graduate at age 53.) I likes so much.
• Nice shirt, Test. Guns don’t kill people. I kill people. Good thing it was 1999, I suppose.
• Five minutes of my life I won’t get back. That match sucked. The tag title match the year before: The New Age Outlaws going HAM against Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie for 14 minutes in a dumpster match. The year after: the triangle ladder match classic that forever set the bar for ladder matches since.
• Wrestling ring being converted to boxing ring for the Brawl for All match. Your judges: former Mike Tyson trainer Kevin Rooney, the man that inspired the Rocky movie series Chuck Wepner, and Gorilla Monsoon in his final major public appearance before dying six months later.
• 36 seconds, and Bart Gunn’s wrestling career in America got the GTS in the form of Butterbean’s left hand.
• San Diego Chicken right on time though. Gotta wash the taste out of our mouths after witnessing that sudden victory.
• Mankind, aka the odd man left out in the world title picture, taking on Big Show in his first PPV match in the WWF. He debut six weeks earlier at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.  
• Oh, the winner of the match gets the referee gig for the main event. I hate that stipulation so much, and I hate it even more that it’s being decided on PPV. Couldn’t ya have decided it in the preshow? Or on RAW the week before? (Smackdown wasn’t around yet.)
• Way to injure a vital player in the WWF with that backdrop, you fat fuck.
• That’s an odd disqualification. You know, a ref bump would have been just as effective. Just saying.
• And why is McMahon miked up?
• Any time Vince gets knocked on his ass is a good day. I like.
• You never seen Mankind get stretchered out? Hell in a Cell, King of the Ring 1998 says hello. Fucking Michael Cole.
• Intercontinental Championship is up next. Three of the four men involved in this match are connected with “Ken Shamrock’s sister”, Ryan. Road Dogg, the champion, is not.  Should have been Billy Gunn in this spot. Fucking Russo booking.
• I never was a Ryan Shamrock fan.
• Four corner rules apply. Two in at a time, anyone can tag anyone else. Get beat, get gone. Last man remaining wins. This was before they figured out a fatal-four-way-everyone-in-at-once would be way more effective.
• And of course it degenerates into a fatal-four-way-everyone-in-at-once match.
• Ken Shamrock proving once again he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer by making it back at 10.5. Idiot. Venis also gets counted out but at least he earned his countout. He got his ass whooped.
• And Road Dogg wins less than a minute later. To quote Justin Henry from the Camel Clutch Blog, this match had “soap opera opportunites up the wazoo and they made it a slow paced 1 on 1 encounter”.
• Ryan with some awful, awful acting.
• And as it turns out, Big Show fits in a police car.
• Kane vs. Pete Rose: round 2. Second verse, same as the first. That’s the best part of this segment, as the match that follows…
• Triple H vs. Kane is slow and plodding. Neither was in their prime yet.
• Oh, this was the “Chyna’s eye put out by a fireball” match.
• Yeah, this crowd is not engaged. Can’t blame them.
• A wild Robo-Chyna appears.
• And Robo-Chyna nails Kane. Triple H gets disqualified. That’s two disqualifications, a countout, a knockout, and a title changing hands without the champion losing if you’re scoring at home. No. Do not like. At all.
• Show’s half over, still four matches to go.
• I heart Sable 1998.
• This, however, is Sable 1999. She’s “defending” the WWF Womens Championship against Tori. It’s gonna suck, ya’ll.
• Tori in a catsuit coming out to no reaction whatsoever.
• This, by the way, is the Trish Stratus-Mickie James angle done wrong. They would get it right seven years later.
• It should be worth pointing out that Tori was a pretty competent wrestler on the indie circuit prior to her WWF run.
• Sable’s in-ring skills have improved over the past year. Really, Cole?
• I’m trying to say nice things about this match, but the list of nice things about this match start and end with Sable’s outfit.
• Fuck me, there’s a ref bump in this match too.
• And Nicole Bass.
• Five more minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
• Shane McMahon: champion of Europe. It grinds my gears but he was the most credible McMahon champion of all the ones that held a belt until Triple H post-marriage.
• I always digged the custom shirts Shane had for his bouts.
• I also digged that they booked X-Pac like an underdog here. He’s fighting like seven or eight guys here not named Shane McMahon.
• Seriously though, they overbooked the hell out of this match.
• And the swerve I still hate to this day: not even 30 minutes after DX reunites, they break up. Triple H with the Pedigree to X-Pac, and that’s a wrap. Fuck Russo booking.
• Big Bossman gets the jobber entrance for the first Hell in a Cell match in Wrestlemania history. How bad is this Hell in a Cell? Well, there were two HIAC matches between the first one in October 1997 and this one that were on RAW. They made the compilation. This one did not.
• And Satanic cult leader Undertaker looks awesome. That’s the only redeeming quality of the next fifteen minutes or so.
• I know I have to be positive, so I’ll do that by doing this: I’m skipping this match. You should too.
• Seriously though, this match can go die in a fire.
• JIM ROSS! JIM ROSS! JIM ROSS! JIM ROSS! Fuck. Yes. Hit the bricks, Cole, you are out.
• Vince Mcmahon, clearly not in his best referee shirt.
• Shawn Michaels, clearly not dressed for Philadelphia weather. After the travesty that was Hell in a Cell, the crowd is engaged again.
• Ok, this promo’s going a bit long. This probably could have been done in about three minutes: McMahon’s out, Mike Chioda gets to referee. Where was Earl Hebner?
• The Rock, your WWF Champion, is out first.
• Vestless Stone Cold.
• And they’re throwing hands. I love that.  
• Chioda playing referee and security. Hope he got double pay.
• They’ve spent a lot more time outside the ring than inside at about four minutes in.
• Backdrop on to the lights. That sucked.
• This is a main event fight, and good on Austin and Rock treating it as such.
• The logo be swaying a little too much there. Just saying.
• About six minutes in, and they’ve pretty much gone around the whole arena floor.
• About eight minutes in, they finally get back in the ring. First move is the Rock Bottom. Damn.
• Goddamn, Chioda got killed dead with that chairshot. Get a hand up, man.
• Hey look! Psychology appears. Rock working on Austin’s knee. Here’s what happens when you get a couple guys that know what they’re doing and great chemistry with one another.
• A wild Tim White appears.
• It’s about eleven or twelve minutes and we finally get a resthold. Been that intense of a match.
• Rock Bottom to Tim White.
• Oh, hey. There’s Earl Hebner. Five seconds too late.
• A wild Vince McMahon appears. We’re getting dangerously close to overbooking territory.
• McMahon KOs Hebner.
• A wild Mick Foley appears. Referee #4. (#5 if you count Vince.)
• Austin nearly okeydoked Rock with a rollup.
• Rocky bricks the Corporate Elbow.
• Austin with the Stunner. Mankind counts 3. AUSTIN WINS! AUSTIN WINS! AUSTIN WINS! I approve of this main event. After what Philly’s been served with throughout the night, they deserved a sweet ending.
• Austin pulling Hebner in like, “we’re gonna celebrate until the wheels fall off.”
• Austin stuns McMahon. I love. LOVE.

For all the faults Wrestlemania XV had, it didn’t hurt WWF’s momentum against WCW a bit. In fact, WCW was going through one of their many periods of consistent incompetence at the time of Wrestlemania XV. So is it one of the worst PPVs ever? Yeah. But in this pile of garbage is the first major match of one of wrestling’s greatest trilogies: Austin-Rock. That match alone is worth your time. The rest: probably not so much.