Compliment Sandwich: WCW Nitro 5/22/2000

Yesterday, I did a compliment sandwich on one of my favorite RAW is War episodes, the night-after Judgment Day 2000 episode of RAW. Not only it was the free TV debut of American Badass Undertaker, it was The Rock going off on the McMahon-Helmsley Regime after (a) being screwed out of the WWF Championship, and (b) being told that he was to be in a one-on-four handicap match.

Today, I serve the compliment sandwich to the Nitro offering from competing (in name only these days) WCW. The David Arquette era has ended, but the war between the Millionaires Club, WCW’s established—and most popular—superstars and the New Blood, talent that felt they weren’t given a fair shake, rages on. It’s been just over a month since WCW “started over”, and already the WCW World Heavyweight Championship has changed hands five times. Jeff Jarrett won the vacated title at Spring Stampede, loses it to Diamond Dallas Page a week and a day later, who then loses it to David Arquette without being pinned, who then loses it back to Jarrett in a three-tier cage match at Slamboree, who again lost it eight days later.

The champion heading into this Nitro: Ric Flair. THE Ric Flair, now on his sixth (or seventh if you count that time the title got vacated in 1994) reign as WCW champion. However, he ended the Thunder before this show struggling to stay upright as he did get injured. Classy WCW makes an angle out of it. Of course. Meanwhile, Sting and Vampiro continue their fiery feud (literally), Hulk Hogan made out with Torrie Wilson, and the New Blood is fighting each other, and the Filthy Animals walked on the group.

Sounds like the latest chapter in this saga may feature some New Blood on New Blood crime. Let’s find out as WCW presents Nitro from the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

• A pair of limos arrives. Why’s Vince Russo with the WCW title? And why is sad Vince Russo sad? And why is sad Jeff Jarrett sad?
• And why is there a round cage hanging over the ring?
• We open with a match. A match! The Cat versus Booker T in a weapons match. Martial arts weapons are legal.
• Awful martial arts by The Cat.
• The Cat at the time was training Eric Bischoff’s then-16-year old son Garret. I think that explains everything right there.
• A reminder of the “relaxed DQ rules”.
• Slick Johnson is your referee. I fucking hate Slick Johnson.
• Booker with a Rock Bottom. From out of nowhere.
• A wild Shawn Stasiak appears. Axe kick and chair to the back of the head takes care of Meat, but…
• A cartwheel kick puts down the Bookerman at 4:49. This, by the way, is the longest
• Misfits in Action with Major Gunns bringing up the rear.
• Three corner splashes, then Stasiak pulls out Cat. Charming.
• A wild Eric Bischoff appears. With Kimberly Page.
• Kimberly Page looks AMAZEBALLS.
• Asshole chants. And random mutes. Fucking WCW.
• Eric Bischoff played the sleazy heel about as good as anyone can.
• Bischoff offering the olive branch to MIA to join the New Blood. MIA’s response: kiss our ass, complete with Major Gunns (real name: Tylene Buck) pulling down her shorts and mooning the New Blood.
• Late-to-work Kevin Nash is a gimmick. Who knew?
• Booker T has been fired. Again. That’s twice since the reboot Booker T got fired.
• Sad Vince Russo is still sad. Mock Ric Flair funeral later.
• Terry Taylor with Reid Flair. Show of hands that 13 years later, you had only Terry Taylor still alive. Damn.
• Speaking of Terry, Terry Funk is set to retire tonight. Terry Funk retiring: one of wrestling’s most enduring gimmicks.
• Daffney versus Crowbar for the undisputed WCW Cruiserweight Championship is on deck. Daffney’s the champion (the second woman to win the belt in six months, BTW after Madusa won it at Starrcade 1999), but Crowbar’s got possession of the belt.
• Dare I say it: normal-sounding Daffney’s kinda hot.
• Thumb wrestling, then rock-paper-scissors. And then wrestling
• A wild Miss Hancock appears. Miss Hancock was formerly Nitro Girl Skye, real name Stacy Keibler.
• Daffney with a Frankenscreamer, but only gets two.
• Crowbar is confused.
• A wild Chris Candido appears with Tammy.
• ANARCHY! ANARCHY!
• Fire thunder driver by Candido to Crowbar, and that’ll do it for Crowbar. Daffney checks on Crowbar, but Mickey Jay counts the fall and Daffney’s the one and only Cruiserweight Champion at 3:02. Seemed a lot longer than that.
• Meanwhile, Torrie gives Horace a backrub. Because why not.
• The Bookerman’s got plans for next week. Meanwhile Norman Smiley and Ralphus are washing cars for a buck.
• Kidman wants Horace. Me thinks he knows now.
• Kidman versus Horace, apparently with Torrie Wilson as guest referee is off and running.
• Hogan versus Kidman announced for Great American Bash. Hogan wins, he gets a world title match. Hogan loses, he’s retired.
• Horace with table. Torrie’s gonna let it go.
• Torrie is not on the line, apparently. If you say so, Eric.
• A wild Terry Bollea appears.
• Kidman reverses a Horace Hogan powerbomb. One does not simply powerbomb Kidman.
• Horace on table, and Ho Kogan beals Kidman off the top rope through the table that Horace lays on.
• Hulk Hogan forces Torrie to count, and Kidman wins at 4:05, though the official result is a no contest.
• More Ric Flair mock funeralness. Complete with absurdly big nose.
• WCW Hardcore Champion Terry Funk with tuxedo and cowboy boots. Apparently, his announcement is most major. Retirement, perhaps?
• Terry’s daughter Brandi is in the front row.
• If it is a retirement, it’s an excuse to put this in. Terry Funk’s first attempt to retire, way back in 1983. Terry Funk’s wrestling career: Then. Now. Forever.
• A wild Shane Douglas appears, and wants Funk to speed it along.
• Funk’s announcement: it’s a boy. He’s gonna be a grandpa. Congrats, Terry.
• Funk’s another announcement: June 1, he’s done. Brad Siegel shed a tear.
• June 1, 2001. One more year. WCW didn’t survive one more year, but Terry’s wrestling career did.
• Shane Douglas does not seem amused, and the New Blood is beating on Terry, while Funk’s daughter Brandi watches.
• Piledriver on the chair, and that’ll do it for Terry.
• And a DDT on the chair on top of it.
• And a spike piledriver. This is officially fucked up.
• Shane Douglas takes possession of the hardcore championship belt, as a stretcher awaits outside.
• Major Stash appears and he swaps buckets.
• Yes, WCW is still paying Kanyon, dumbass.
• Tony Schiavone with the Billy Madison blast.
• Ok, remember when I said Terry Funk getting dropped on his head while his daughter watches was fucked up? I take that back. Mike Awesome in a wheelchair and halo mocking Chris Kanyon is fucked up. As long as the check clears, I guess.
• Mike “The Career Killer” Awesome versus The Wall in an Ambulance versus Tables match. First person to put his opponent through a table or stuff said opponent in an ambulance and shut the door wins.
• Mike Awesome backdrops The Wall through the table. Awesome wins in just 85 seconds. This is the first match tonight to not have an in-match run-in.
• But Wall’s up. And he’s pissed.
• A wild Shane Douglas appears with lead pipe.
• A wild Diamond Dallas Page appears from the back of the ambulance, where Mike Awesome gets tossed.
• Meanwhile, The Wall is killing Shane Douglas dead.
• Literally.
• New Blood as pallbearers carrying the “coffin of Ric Flair’s career”. Big production goof: Mike Awesome and Shane Douglas appear. That’s sloppy, yo. If it said “earlier” or “earlier today”, it would be all good.
• And the Filthy Animals’ car just got a white coat of paint.
• Ok, remember when I said that whole Terry Funk and Mike Awesome thing was fucked up? This is fucked up: the “death of the career of Ric Flair”.
• Flair collapsing turned into an angle. Fucking-A, man.
• Russo sucks. And three and a half months later, he really will have the WCW world title.
• But for now, Ric Flair’s stripped of the title, and Jeff Jarrett’s got the title. Again. Third time in five weeks he’s champion. I don’t even think The Rock got to three that quick.
• A wild Kevin Nash appears from in the casket. And Nash cleans house.
• Kevin Nash has possession of the world title belt. I’m not gonna get it.
• Pamela Paulshock with a pissed-off Russo. Nash is given 45 minutes to give the belt back to Jarrett, or they’ll take it by force, no holds barred.
• Two cheerleaders appear. Then Shikira. Then Scott Steiner, WCW United States Champion. He’s from Michigan, isn’t he?
• Apparently Scott Steiner had quite the time at Michigan.
• Apparently, Scott now travels with an “asylum” now, a circular cage. Two men enter, exit occurs only when someone quits.
• Rick Steiner versus his younger brother Scott in an Asylum match for the WCW United States Championship. A domed roof, and yeah. No way out. Rick realizes the gravity of the situation.
• Tank Abbott with bolt cutters and R&B Security.
• Tankberg. Really? Really?
• Bolt cutters didn’t work, but Tank popped Mickey Jay, and he’s got the controls, and it’s two-on-one.
• A wild Kevin Nash appears, with world title belt in hand. Title shots to Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott. Match is a no contest at 3:34.
• New interviewer Pamela Paulshock with Kevin Nash. Nash seems to approve of new interviewer Pamela. Anyways, Kevin makes a match. Jeff Jarrett versus Kevin Nash, winner gets the belt.
• Chuck Palumbo with R&B Security and Miss Elizabeth versus Diamond Dallas Page on deck. The R&B security guards here: Allen Funk, best known as Kwee Wee (and later Bruce in TNA) before Turner S&P killed that character, and “Above Average” Mike Sanders.
• Liz cracks five across Chuck’s face, and DDP nearly takes advantage.
• A wild Kimberly Page appears. With bat. And Kimberly with the bat to the back of Liz. Wow. That’s fucked up.
• A wild Mike Awesome appears with halo.
• Page brained with the halo, and the Torture Rack ends Page’s night at 2:58.
• Lex Luger checks on Elizabeth, and he’s in a bit of a dilemma. Help DDP or help Liz.
• Kimberly trips Lex just enough to get Luger popped in the face by Palumbo with a flexor thingie. Stretcher for Lex.
• Yup, it’s bad. Get him in the ambulance, already. Fuck.
• Kimberly blames Liz. Kim looks amazingly hot though.
• Terry Taylor with Reid Flair. Fuck, this is depressing to watch in hindsight.
• David Flair and a wild Daffney appear with one of them Bruiser Buddy thingies.
• Reid's pouring out his heart, and Terry Taylor got blasted with a figurine.
• Reid Flair with a double leg takedown. Two points, right?
• Well, now it's uncomfortable. David gutshots Reid, piefaces him, and now puts him in the figure four. Fuck, something's not right in this world if David Flair's allowed to walk the Earth and Reid's not.
• I know, Schiavone. What the fuck are you doing? You're making it real easy for people to not like you, WCW.
• And they're showing the replay. What. The. Fuck.
• Vampiro (with can of kerosene and blowtorch) takes on FUNB Hogan. 
• Sting versus Vampiro in a human torch match announced for the Great American Bash. Match continues until someone burns. What the fuck were they thinking?
• Vampiro gets the jump on Hogan.
• Clusterfinishes? Not in WCW? Remember this. Quiz later.
• How does Hogan handle all these challenges? Creative control, my dude. Creative control.
• Big boot and leg drop, but Hogan does not go for the cover. Wonder if it'll come back to bite him.
• A wild Billy Kidman appears and beans Hogan with the torch in the back. Vampiro takes advantage and gets the pin at 4:45.
• Sting appears and saves Hogan's ass.
• And Sting and Hogan whips on Vampiro.
• Filthy Animals no like the new paint. Wild Misfits in Action appear. Norman Smiley runs like hell. Ralphus is down. Paging Miss Gunns.
• Hustle, Miss Gunns. It's Ralphus, who slips her the tongue. You magnificent bastard.
• Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash for the vacated WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Nash has possession of the belt, and will only give it back on the condition that he's beaten in a match.
• For the third Nitro in a row, a world title match is the main event. 
• A wild Vince Russo appears with R&B Security.
• And he's the referee as Billy Silverman gets wiped out.
• I guess it's falls count anywhere. Not that it matters, since Russo won't give Nash a fair shake.
• Nash peppersprayed by Russo and stroked by Jarrett. Steiner's music played for a second for some reason, then stops.
• Then it plays again, and out comes Steiner. And he gets maced too. And handcuffed.
• Nash's had enough of their shit.
• Swing and a miss on the bloodbath as Nash was about to plant Russo with a powerbomb.
• Jarrett with the acoustic, and he wins the WCW world title for the third time in just 4:39. 
• Bischoff, Russo, and Double J brag, and scene.

Compliment Sandwich: RAW 5/22/2000

Time for another compliment sandwich on a classic episode of Monday Night RAW (is WAR). I don’t expect this episode to make the 20^th anniversary boxset when it’s released in a couple of months, but it’s one of my favorites. This episode takes place from the Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis (since renamed Bankers Life Fieldhouse) the night after Judgment Day in Louisville.

If you were for the faces, Judgment Day was a pretty depressing evening for you. Following the opener, the heels swept the card, winning the final five matches, capped off by Triple H winning a one-hour Ironman match against The Rock to reclaim the WWF Championship. But perhaps the biggest story coming from that night (other than Shawn Michaels appearing to screw The Rock out of the title) was the return of The Undertaker...looking very different. Judgment Day gave birth to American Badass Undertaker, a period that while necessary for the evolution of the character, is not necessarily looked upon fondly.

WCW countered with…you guessed it… a world title match between Kevin Nash and Jeff Jarrett. (For the record, Jarrett won the match and the title. It was only the second time that week the title changed hands, as Vince Russo stripped Ric Flair of the title he’d won on the previous week’s Nitro. Didn’t matter: the night after Jarrett won it back, Nash won the belt from Jarrett at a Thunder taping.) Not surprisingly, RAW crushed Nitro 7.1 to 3.0. It was the last time a WWF program got a 7 rating.

Anyways, on with it.

• How do you know you’re watching a WWF program from the first half of 2000? A 20-minute opening promo by the McMahon-Helmsley Faction. Well, not exactly that tonight. It’s Vince McMahon, and he only needed about six minutes to lay out the main event.
• How do you know you’re watching a WWF program from the first half of 2000? The main event is a handicap match. Tonight: DX + Shane McMahon versus The Rock. Even by this point, this was getting old.
• A wild Rock appears. And he’s pissed.
• Seriously, this beatdown needs some music behind it. May I suggest “Straight Outta Compton” by NWA?
• McMahon’s taking a ride.
• Rock’s looking to choke a bitch. Or something.
• And now the wrestling portion of the program begins: T&A with Trish Stratus versus The Hardy Boyz.
• Thanks to Trish, Jeff’s pretty as hell Swanton Bomb is negated by Test’s top rope elbow to the back of Jeff’s head. T&A gets the upset win at 3:56.
• The Rock is waiting for somebody.
• Eddie Guerrero with Chyna versus D-Lo Brown for the WWF European Championship. D-Lo Brown had four runs as European Champion in 1998 and 1999.
• JR and King discussing the events of the previous night. You know, there’s a match in the ring.
• A wild Godfather appears. With hos.
• Hurancanrana pin gets Eddie the dupe and title defense in just 2:26.
• Godfather with the beatdown and Pimp Drop post match. D-Lo had a very bad night.
• Gerald Brisco with the Faction just as they arrive. They have no idea how real shit’s gonna get.
• But they find out about ten seconds later when…
• A wild Rock appears. With lead pipe. He kills Road Dogg and X-Pac dead. And drops them in the bed of an 18-wheeler. Tori and Gerald at least had the sense to run.
• Team ECK versus Too Cool & Rikishi in a return match from Judgment Day.
• Kurt wasn’t completely accurate. The Pacers made it to the NBA Finals, but they got beat in six games by the Lakers. That’s better than what the 76ers in 2001 (5 games) and the Nets in 2002 did (4 games).
• Well, Christian’s right. 13 years later, not much has changed. The Pacers still choke in the playoffs.
• Five-second poses were awesome. Even Lilian enjoyed it a little bit.
• ANARCHY! ANARCHY!
• Rikishi’s face is in Edge’s ass.
• Edge prevents Scotty 2 Hotty from completing the Worm with a title shot, Kurt Angle with a half-nelson cradle, and Team ECK disposes of Too Cool in just 2:50.
• The Rock is still looking to kill.
• Shane McMahon to gloat about his victory over The Big Show. Big Show for the record would not be back until the 2001 Royal Rumble match.
• Shane’s a pussy.
• Shane the poet.
• Shane the poet about to get fucked up because…
• A wild Rock appears. Today is not a good day to fuck with The Rock.
• Up next: Chris Benoit versus Val Venis for the Intercontinental Championship.
• Benoit did not go on to become the greatest IC champion ever, though he did have four runs as champion.
• The way the end of the main event from Judgment Day was being discussed, you’d think it was Nitro, Nick Patrick and the “fast count” from Starrcade all over again.
• Speaking of which, I gotta give that event the compliment sandwich one day.
• A wild Hardcore Holly appears. And he just brained Val Venis.
• And Chris Benoit, who wins by DQ at 6:43. It’s the longest match on the show.
• A wild Chris Jericho appears. Hardcore Holly turns around but it’s way too late. Intercontinental Deathmatch 2000 is officially on. Round 1, and Jericho’s the only one that is upright.
• Gerald Brisco awaits Triple H and Stephanie, but up now is a tag team match, playa. The Dudley Boyz versus Bosschanan (Bull Buchanan & The Big Boss Man). Think The Shield, only less talented and way bigger.
• Teddy Tag Team (Theodore Long)
• Yeah. D-Von’s testifying all in Bull Buchanan’s nuts.
• Indianapolis demands their table, and right fucking now.
• Bossman gets the Dudley Death Drop and them damn Dudleys win at 5:08.
• Gerald Brisco. Still waiting.
• Elroy, aka Crash Holly, at the APA office. The APA office is one of my favorite gags ever in wrestling.
• Bradshaw and Faarooq be like, “English motherfucker, do you speak it?”
• Crash pours beer over Bradshaw. This is not a good idea. One does not waste a good beer.
• Faarooq: Don’t hurt him. He’s just a boy.
• Gerald Brisco: still waiting.
• 2000 cell phones, man.
• Crash Holly, who does not weigh 400 pounds, will take on Bradshaw in a hardcore match.
• Crash got brained with that steel chair, yo. Hands up or no, he got fucked up.
• Crash died a thousand deaths. Clothesline from hell wins it for Bradshaw at 2:01. What did you learn?
• Gerald Brisco finally with Triple H and Stephanie. Gerald telling the tale of the night to this point.
• Triple H is looking for The Rock. Meanwhile, The Rock is stalking Triple H. The Rock knows what you did last Sunday.
• Highlights from the Judgment Day main event, then Michael Cole interviewed Shawn Michaels from shortly after the final bell.
• Godfather and Essa Rios. With hos. Meanwhile, a wild Lita appears. Speaking Spanish, no less. Lita does not seem impressed.
• Jim: You ever rolled a phatty? Jerry: Remember that time when I pushed you? *bad dum crash*
• Dean Malenko, you shrewd bastard. Two hos for Dean-o. Perry Saturn gets no hos. Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn versus Godfather and Essa Rios (with Lita) becomes Perry Saturn versus Godfather and Essa Rios (with Lita).
• Lita pushed Essa Rios off the top rope, and Saturn hits the brainbuster. The one beats the duo in just 92 seconds. Guess it ain’t all good between Lita and Essa. This concludes the wrestling portion of the program.
• The Rock’s looking to choke a bitch.
• I still put Survivor Series 1997 over the Ironman match in terms of controversy.
• I would love to agree on The Rock saying Triple H never beat The Rock. Triple H did. Five times, my dude. But let’s not get facts in the way.
• Just Got Your Ass Kicked Boulevard is about a mile from Jabroni Drive, by the way.
• Sucking it with each other is most certainly not PG.
• Four-on-one is now one-on-one. Shit’s on, brah.
• That’s funny, Triple H. Indianapolis isn’t in the mood for your shit either.
• The ring stinks of rats for some reason.
• And we’re off.
• And there it is. The regime has returned.
• Doesn’t matter. Rock Bottom to Vince.
• But the Regime has pounced on The Rock.
• The Judgment Day video plays from last night. And the action has stopped. Looks like the Regime’s Judgment Day is now.
• American Badass Undertaker has arrived.
• Undertaker kills everybody dead not named Triple H, Stephanie, or Tori.
• And Undertaker was about to get run over. The Regime is running for their lives.
• Meanwhile, Triple H is about to kill The Rock dead.
• Or not.
• Triple H is about to kill The Rock dead again.
• Or not.
• Rock Bottom to Triple H through the announce table. Triple H’s final destination tonight: The People’s Hell.
• Achievement Unlocked: Rage Against The Regime.

Ok, on to the summary. What I liked and didn’t like in chart and/or graph form.

LIKE	The main story of the show: The Rock mad as hell that he got boned out of the WWF Championship thanks in part to the McMahon-Helmsley Regime. He’s not smiling, he’s not walking around like things are good. That’s what I want out of a former champion. If you lose it any way other than Windex clean, you’d better be looking to fight somebody.
DIDN’T LIKE	Yet another McMahon promo to start RAW. If there was one RAW is War or Smackdown that didn’t begin with a 20-minute promo from Triple H or his band of merry misfits in the first half of 200, I’d like to see it.
LIKE	Edge and Christian and their silly five-second poses. Brood Edge and Christian were good. BFF’s Edge and Christian were fan…tastic. (For the record, the one they did in Oakland right around the time of the 2000 playoffs was my favorite.)
DIDN’T LIKE	Most of the matches on the show finished too quickly to mean anything. But considering (a) the massive riches they have in talent and (b) little time they have, it’s forgivable. Plus, they’re coming off a PPV.
LIKE	Although I’m in the minority, I like American Badass Undertaker.
BONUS LIKE	2000 Trish and Lita. Wow.

It was easy to see why WWF was on fire in 2000: compelling characters, superior talent, superior storylines, and dare I say it, long-term planning. Of course, it was spotty in places, but around this time, this was as good as it gets.

Compliment Sandwich: i-Generation Superstars of Wrestling (aka Rodman Down Under)

Rodman Down Under (better known as i-Generation Wrestling Superstars of Wrestling, referred to here on as iGW) took place at the Sydney Superdome in Sydney, Australia on July 30, 2000. This was the only filmed event on iGW's tour of Australia, bringing together some wrestling legends. But at the time, getting competent legends was a tough task, as North America had a fully functioning WWF, a fully functioning (though slowly dying) WCW, and a fully functioning (though also slowly dying) ECW. Though the name i-Generation Wrestling suggested something new and innovative, the youngest male performer on the roster was Johnny Grunge at age 34. i-Generation? Try Baby Boom Generation.

The show is considered among wrestling pundits and fans as among the worst in wrestling history. And to think, people paid $24.95 for this back in 2000. Though the show took place on July 30, it didn't air in the United States until December. In fact, the weekend it aired, two of the three championships changed hands again.

So can i-Possibly say anything nice about this bargain bin PPV? Well, I found video of it, but the commentary is in German. Looks like I'll be watching this one on mute, which may not be a bad thing.

• Opening video package is mid-1990s WCW awful. But it at least establishes Dennis Rodman as the heel. So there’s that.
• The matchup screen looks like it could have been for a 16-bit fighting game.
• Vince Mancini and Ted DiBiase (yes, THAT Ted DiBiase) are doing commentary…for the American audience. But I’m watching the German version. And the announcers refer to themselves as Vince and Ted. Oh, and they’re in a studio. Green screen. What is this, 1986?
• Hey Worm! You’re Ugly! At least the creativity bar is low. BTW: many of the signs from the show were handed out.
• iGW champion Curt Hennig (aka the late Mr. Perfect) calls out Dennis Rodman to start. Set by the way is a weird hybrid of Nitro’s 1997 and 2000 sets.
• Why we’re starting the show with a promo? Time is money. Shut up and fight.
• Rodzilla killer in the front row, by the way. Nice.
• Public Enemy versus the Road Warriors for the iGW tag team titles. Public Enemy apparently are the tag champs heading in. Match was set up by PE jumping said Road Warriors in a press conference. This is a tables match.
• Way to finish that roll, Johnny Grunge. Grunge, if you missed the last post, is the youngest male performer on the show at age 34.
• Road Warriors (or Legion of Doom if you prefer). It saddens me that they’re coming out to some dance pop type music. It makes their 1998 theme tolerable.
• Grunge is hungry. Or something.
• Louie Anderson look-alike does not seem amused.
• I believe the hard camera shot is similar to that of No Mercy, WWF Attitude, and the recently released (at the time) WWF Smackdown. BTW: the game play difference between Smackdown and Attitude are night and day. But No Mercy blew them both away. I’d still take Smackdown over Attitude though.
• Ok, this is a tables match. Why do the teams have to tag in and out?
• Things I don’t miss about the Attitude Era: the crotch chop.
• Is Hawk going for a pin in a tables match?
• Hawk and Rock are the first two out. So it’s just Animal and Grunge for the belts. Rock with a chair, not that there are rules or anything.
• Animal battering rams Public Enemy into the table, and that’ll do it. Well, Grunge walks toward the table, but whateves. Road Warriors win the tag titles.
• Get used to those belts, by the way. They appear again on this show.
• Seriously. Road Warriors with techno music: no. Just… no.
• The i-Generettes appear for the first time. The Generettes are iGW’s answer to WCW’s Nitro Girls. I know a lot of smarks hate these little dance numbers, but they’re a harmless diversion if nothing else. The Nitro Girls are way better though. Just saying.
• Barbarian out first for this hardcore match. Barbarian was of course, one half (or one third) of the Faces of Fear in WCW.
• His opponent: Brute Force, aka Ed Leslie. You may know him as Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, or The Butcher, or Zodiac, or The Booty Man, or The Man with No Name, or the Man with No Face.
• That bell is unnatural sounding. I meant to point that out in the first match. Sounds like the bell from Jerry Springer.
• For those thinking there’s no such thing as a bad hardcore match, I present Barbarian versus Brute Force as the contrary.
• Swing and a miss on the steps that couldn’t weigh more than like six pounds.
• Crowd is super dead for this one, and I can’t blame them.
• And there’s your obligatory low blow. (The first match had quite a few. This is a recurring theme in this show.)
• Worst. Diamond Cutter. Ever.
• An awful diamond cutter, DDT, and piledriver don’t finish the match, but a boot to a trash can lid does. Okay.
• And would it kill you to sell the effects of the match on the way back, Bruti? Fuck.
• Wild Generettes appear.
• Women’s match next. Brandi Wine with Sugar Daddy (real name: Fred Ottman, best known as Tugboat, Typhoon, and…The Shockmaster). Sweet Destiny with Aussie Joe Bugner. Bugner, by the way, was born in Hungary. A side nugget about Aussie Joe: Bugner was the last man to defeat Britsh boxing legend Henry Cooper in 1971. The decision was quite controversial. Bugner also had a small role in the movie Street Fighter.
• And yes, it did sound like one of the German guys called Sweet Destiny Philadelphia Cunt.
• People seem to love Sweet Destiny and not Brandi Wine. This is probably the most alive this crowd has been since the show started. To quote KB’s Wrestling Reviews, in terms of looks, nothing to see here, especially with Trish Stratus at the peak of her hotness around this time.
• Hungarian…err…Aussie Joe puts the Shockmaster on his ass.
• Wait, the match is still going on?
• Yikes. Superplex looked bad.
• But it ends things, as Sweet Destiny, the “Philadelphia Cunt”, wins. Crowd approves.
• Once again, the Generettes.
• There’s still 45 minutes left in this video and only two matches left.
• One Man Gang vs. Tatanka for the iGW Australasian Championship. I guess that’s their term for Eurocontinental. Or something. In the video, it’s referred to as the International Heavyweight Championship. The belt looks suspiciously like the tag title belts from earlier in the show. Note how quick they cut away from said belt.
• At around 68 minutes, fans looks like are turning on the show. Trash is being thrown on the ramp in the direction of One Man Gang.
• And now they’re showering the ring with garbage. Yeah. They’re checking out.
• The match goes another 13 minutes (and a ref bump) before One Man Gang wins with an international object. That’s two out of two champions to lose tonight so far.
• Again, they quick cut from the championship belt.
• One last appearance by the golden-clad Generettes before we head into the main event, Mr. Perfect versus The Worm.
• How did two future Hall of Famers end up in Australia fighting for a title no one cared about? Hennig’s deal with WCW expired earlier that summer, and Dennis Rodman retired following a brief stint with the Dallas Mavericks, one that saw him get ejected twice in just 12 games. That takes some real talent.
• For those saying Curt Hennig was never a world champion, there ya go. Hennig was the iGW world champion. Hennig was also world champion in the dying days of the AWA, holding the title from May 1987-May 1988.
• Australian Outback rules by the way. Whatever that means.
• Rodman throws the referee out the ring, and somehow, that ends the match. The main event ends on a disqualification. Of course. Pull-apart brawl between the two post-match.
• There’s a post-match interview with Hennig and a highlight package to end, and that’s that.

The hook of Rodman Down Under was seeing Dennis Rodman in a wrestling match. I’m not sure why anyone would want to see Dennis Rodman in a wrestling match. But for those that did, well, you got him for ten minutes. Hope it was worth whatever money you spent on it. In my case, none. And it wasn’t. Perhaps the nicest thing I can say about Rodman Down Under: at least it wasn’t Heroes of Wrestling. And the Generettes were alright. I’d still take Kimberly, Stacy and the Nitro Girls crew though. Hell, I’d take the two beauties that walked out with Curt Hennig over the Generettes.

Back In The Saddle

Well, after a weekend of moving and getting kinda sorta settled, I'm back to making nice of the worst wrestling has to offer. Today's gonna be quite the doozy.

Today, I will try to make nice of recent Wrestlecrap Hall of Fame inductee i-Generation Wrestling's Superstars of Wrestling. Know in the United States as Rodman Down Under, the event emanated from the Sydney Superdome in Sydney, Australia on July 30, 2000, but did not air in the United States until December 1, 2000 (ironically, the same weekend, two of their three championships changed hands, but that's a different matter). This was the only filmed event of iGW's brief existence, as the group was a touring bunch that ran through Australia in late July and early August. Many of the same people behind the scenes involved in putting this show together would reunite a year later for World Wrestling All-Stars.

Now, as Wrestlecrap so astutely points out, when you think of i-Generation, probably the first thing that comes to mind is you're gonna get something new, something fresh, something outside the box. That wasn't the case. In fact, the youngest wrestler on this show at the time is 34, and two others, including main eventer/cover boy Dennis Rodman are closer to 40 than 38. As Wrestlecrap also points out, this is right up there in the false advertising department with the main event of Jerry Lawler vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper in the main event of the 1994 King of the Ring, the first PPV of the WWF "New Generation" era. But let's be honest: pickings were slim, as we were still living in a three major North American promotion world at the time. Also, as this show occurred a couple months before WCW toured the country, this was at the time arguably the biggest wrestling show on their grounds since the WWF toured there in 1986. Yeah, you could see just how starved the Aussies were for pro wrestling.

Originally when I did a list of worst PPVs not named Heroes of Wrestling (which I will do one of these days), I didn't include this show, mainly because I couldn't find any information on it at the time. The little I could find said this show was legendarily bad. Well, let's find out just how bad. 

From ArtODonnell's recent Wrestlecrap induction:

Perhaps the most damning criticism of the event I can offer, however, is that Roddy Piper vs. Lawler, last week’s induction, was far and away better than anything on this pay-per-view.

This is coming from a guy that sits through the WWF New Generation era and reviews the shows from that time. (A side nugget: his blog, "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" is worth your time and you should check it out. You're welcome.)

KB's Wrestling Reviews:

F. Well that was horrible but I can’t say it’s in Heroes of Wrestling territory. For one thing that show was nearly an hour longer and had some of the most embarrassing “wrestling” you’ll ever see. This was terrible stuff too but it wasn’t dragging the business down to never before seen lows. At the end of the day, this was only an hour and forty minutes with nearly twenty of that being spent on dancing or video packages. It’s terrible but it’s not the worst show of all time by a decent stretch.

An hour and 40 minutes. Honestly, that makes me feel good. The less awful wrestling, the better.

Cewsh of Cewsh's Reviews:

What a wacky show. 

We review a lot of varied stuff here at Cewsh Reviews, so we generally, going in, know basically what to expect (with the notable exception of the Bread Eating Deathmatch). I was sort of expecting this to be like a WCW PPV circa 2000, but that really wasn’t what this was at all. This was an indy promotion who were running a nostalgia show with a main event way out of their depth. The show wasn’t necessarily as bad as the scores will dictate, and may even be enjoyable to someone with a good dose of nostalgia behind them. But the fact that over 50% of this card passed away between then and now, the absolutely awful ending to the main event, and the fact that brute Force is not an esteemed member of the correct 50% just dragged this show down into the doldrums. Which was a shame, because FUCKING TATANKA WOOOO!

Now I'm curious to see what the deal is with the bread eating deathmatch. (Edit: the match is real, alright. I'll watch another time.)

Two Sheds Review, Britian's longest running wrestling and MMA blog:

I think the best way to describe this show is average - and I would have described it as below average if it wasn’t for the final two matches. If someone who hadn’t read this view asked me if I recommended this show, I say no, unless you can get it at bargain basement price, or you can tape it the next time it’s shown on TV. Rodman Down Under will not go down as one of the best shows in the history of professional wrestling, just as one of the most average.

While pretty much all the people above found the show online or bought it in one of those bargain bins, famed wrestling reviewer Scott Keith paid full freight at the time of the show ($24.95 American, which would be about $34 today). He's gonna be pissed, isn't he?

Heroes of Wrestling: The Sequel. I don’t know how Dave Meltzer could give Steve Seiden time on his show the other day without drowning the guy’s incessant hype out with his laughter. Easily the worst PPV of the year, with 5 matches, all bad, and the rest filler. On the bright side, Curt Hennig looked great and I hope the WWF reconsiders their snubbing of him so far, because god knows the main event needs a fresher face right about now. Thumbs down (under) for this mess.

As it turned out, WWF did reconsider and brought Hennig back at the 2002 Royal Rumble. He was a major player for a bit. Then the whole plane ride from hell happened. And then he went to TNA. Then he died. Sad.

Thankfully, I won't have to pay full freight, or any money for that matter. That's the good news. Bad news is, I have to listen to the German commentary. Nothing against German people; I don't know German. Oh well, gonna have to actually pay attention for once.

Compliment Sandwich: Spring Stampede 2000

A thought most random: how far off from center is the Spring Stampede logo on the left? Everything else looks centered, or at least aligned that way. It's just odd.

The final Spring Stampede in WCW history took place on April 16, 2000 from the United Center in Chicago. There were five of these events, first in 1994, then for four consecutive years from 1997 to 2000. The last Spring Stampede was also the first PPV of the Russo-Bischoff booking regime. This was coming off the heels of an Uncensored PPV that left a taste so bad that the only way to wash it away was to blow it up and start over. Kevin Sullivan, who replaced Vince Russo in booking originally, was himself replaced by both Russo and Eric Bischoff, one of the key components of the rise of WCW to the world's top wrestling promotion in the late 1990s.

When WCW was starting over, they were starting over. All titles were vacated, any feuds to this point were thrown out, and the roster was basically divided between young talent, dubbed the New Blood, and established talent, dubbed the Millionaires Club. All this was done, by the way, on April 10, less than a week before the PPV. In less than a week, WCW would completely turn itself over. But would it be for the better?

Let's try and make nice with Spring Stampede 2000.

This video package literally could open a Nitro. But the PPV came first, so it opens the PPV.

• Speaking of video packages, it’s worth saying. Even in 2000, the WWF was the truth in putting stuff like this together.
• Literally the same set used for Nitro is being used for Spring Stampede. Good God, not even WWE with their HD set does this for PPVs. It makes your company look cheap. That shit grinds my gears.
• DQ rules are being relaxed tonight. They did that the previous Monday, and three matches that night ended in a DQ.
• 5:40 in, we finally have our first entrance. Tag team title qualifier with the Mamalukes (later known as FBI in WWE) versus Team Package (Ric Flair and Lex Luger).
• Flair’s fired up. I approve. And he’s coming in his evening gear.
• Team Package should not be coming out to Lex Luger’s music. Ric Flair’s on the team, his music gets played. That’s a fact.
• Never mind. Solo entrance for “The Total Package” aka “The Final Answer” Lex Luger. His music has a Millionaire vibe.
• WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• And already, Iron Man Vince Russo.
• And the Harris Brothers. I guess they’re in the match too. A three-team qualifier.
• And at 10:55, we have our opening match. Way too long to get to match #1 of the PPV.
• Not even the commentators can make of what would happen if the Harrises win. That’s not a good sign.
• Flair never hits that top rope move. He did maybe twice in WWE.
• Somebody’s mad at Disco. Two guys take him away. I totally approve. He’s a waste of space.
• That clothesline by Johnny The Bull was pretty impressive. Took a bit long to set up though.
• Team Package wins via Human Torture Rack of Doom.
• We’re muting “Damn.” Really, WCW? This is PPV.
• A wild Bam Bam Bigelow appears.
• Mike Awesome beats on Bam Bam Bigelow for some reason.
• Mancow versus Jimmy Hart next. I’ll skip.
• Kidman beats down Jimmy Hart post-match. Shot in the direction of Hulk Hogan.
• The Wall versus Scott Steiner. This is the first quarterfinal in the US Championship Tournament. Seven matches on this show focus on this tournament. Scott Steiner coming out to the old Steiner Brothers music for some reason.
• 32:53. We have a disqualification. The Wall chokeslammed a referee through the table. Scott Steiner goes forward. So much for relaxing the DQ rule.
• A wild Bam Bam Bigelow appears.
• Mike Awesome making his in-ring WCW debut against Ernest Miller. Quarterfinal match in the WCW US title tournament.
• A wild Bam Bam Bigelow appears. He took Miller’s place—literally.
• Ernest Miller dances. Do not approve.
• Awesome kills Miller. Three-and-a-half-star frog splash. Drive home safely. Awesome wins.
• Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell versus Harlem Heat in the second qualifying match for the tag titles. Oh wait… it’s Harlem Heat 2000. Stevie Ray and Fat Ahmed Johnson, who is fat. Fuck.
• Shane Douglas enters as Buff Bagwell’s video plays on the screen. Figure that out.
• Yeah, I’m gonna skip. Only have to jump about three minutes.
• Booker T vs. Sting in a quarterfinal match for the US title tournament.
• Oh wait…Booker. He somehow lost the rights to use the letter “T” in his name. Fuck this company.
• Sting’s Metallica theme was always awesome. That’s a fact.
• Holy shit, this match is the tits right now.
• Schiavone said that neither of these men were close to done. Less than a minute later, Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathdrop.
• Post-match fist pump out of respect.
• Vampiro versus Billy Kidman (with Torrie Wilson) in the last quarterfinal. Winner gets Sting.
• Holy shit, Vampiro nearly killed Kidman with that release powerbomb.
• Second powerbomb attempt fails. One does not simply powerbomb Kidman.
• Third attempt also fails. Vampiro has learned nothing.
• A wild Hollywood Hogan appears. Shit is about to get real.
• Hell, if you can collect a PPV bonus without wrestling a match, go for it.
• Guess we’re not calling a DQ for that.
• Hogan versus Kidman is the root of this Millionaires Club-New Blood feud. Something about a flea market.
• Punjabi Plunge to the announce table, and table didn’t budge an inch.
• Scoop slam fixes that though.
• Vampiro wins. He’s not gonna apologize for it.
• ERIC BISCHOFF, HULK HOGAN’S COMIN’ FOR YOU NIGGA!
• Angry Ho Kogan is looking to choke a bitch.
• Some of Chicago’s finest… oh shit. Shit’s getting too real. Somebody’s got a gun out. No bueno.
• Next match begins as Hogan is being carried out in cuffs.
• They’re all rats. Whole cafeteria’s a bunch of rats.
• Terry Funk versus Norman Smiley for the hardcore title. Norman’s about to get ass raped, yo.
• My… my diet soda.
• A wild Dustin Rhodes appears.
• Terry Funk wins and is hardcore champion. Of course.
• Not gonna lie. It was a fun match. Stupid fun, but fun.
• Russo wants Booker T to do him an egg. This, by the way, is the last time we see Booker tonight, so we never find out what that egg is.
• And speaking of doing people an egg, Scott Steiner takes on Mike Awesome in the first US title tournament semifinal.
• Cops used guns; they didn’t even get disqualified. What does that have to do with anything?
• A wild Kevin Nash appears. With a crutch. And he takes it to the back of Awesome.
• Actually, this would be the last time Booker appears. Vince Russo fires Dustin Rhodes. Meh. No big loss.
• Vampiro versus Sting in the second semifinal of the US title tournament. Winner gets Scott Steiner.
• And Sting moves forward. The lone member of the Millionaires Club is in the final match. Of course.
• Kimberly looks goooood, yo.
• Two-thirds of 3 Count, Shannon Moore and Shane Helms, and their horrible, horrible song. This has to be one of the ten worst theme songs ever.
• Enter Prince Iaukea, Lash Leroux, Crowbar, and Juventud Guerrera. And Chris Candido. Cruiserweight title match. Sudden death. First fall gets the vacated title.
• Everybody kill everybody.
• A wild Daffney appears.
• A wild David Flair appears.
• A wild Paisley appears.
• A wild Tammy Lynn Sytch appears. Four run-ins in less than three minutes. And pushes the Prince off the top rope.
• Chris Candido, Tammy’s main squeeze, picks up the win.
• Tammy: the most complete female performer in wrestling history? REALLY? Even in 2000, I can’t buy that. I mean, at least Sable took a bump in her WWF run. Tammy didn’t. Not one.
• Paisley and Tammy: catfight!
• Shannon Moore and Charles Robinson pay a pretty hard price. Protect yourselves at all times.
• Tag title match: Team Package vs. Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell. This, by the way, ill be the first time Douglas and Flair have been in a proper match together since Shane began his vendetta in the early 1990s.
• Buff Bagwell really asking for a Code of Honor?
• Flair still in his street clothes. Did he legitimately forget his ring gear or something?
• Ugly collision by Flair and Douglas.
• And Ric fails to complete the cartwheel.
• He finishes the second time. Only to get clotheslined from the apron.
• WOOOOOOOOOO!
• Wild Kronik appears.
• Fuck that finish.
• 12 matches in, and 10 had a run-in.
• Scott Steiner’s left arm vein is bigger than Sting’s arms. Ah, Steiner math.
• Steiner will face Sting in the United States Championship match. Both men are on their third match this evening.
• How does one not respect Sting? I mean, for reals?
• Vampiro? Da fuq?
• And Scott Steiner went full blast to that corner and may have knocked himself out. And to answer your question, Scott Hudson, no.
• Sting’s dead. Scott Steiner’s the new United States Champion. He’s now won ever belt to win in WCW (excluding the hardcore title) but the big one.
• That’s 11 of 13 that had a run-in. Add to the DQ earlier, and that’s one match that ended clean and decisive. I don’t expect that count to go up.
• And holy shit, Michael Buffer is NOT doing the introductions. I approve. Nothing against Buffer, but him doing it for damn near every Nitro and PPV (and the occasional Thunder) gets a little old pretty damn quick.
• Love the Wrestlemania XIV-esque walks from the locker room to the ring.
• The Big Bent Gold Belt at stake.
• A wild gray-haired Eric Bischoff appears.
• A wild Kimberly Page appears. Oh wait, she was at ringside already. Carry on.
• DDP with a Diamond Cutter on himself.
• And Jarrett with the title shot to the face.
• Not gonna lie: this match’s pretty good. Kinda overbooked, but pretty good.
• Of course Kimberly “El Kabong”s her hubby.
• Stroke, and Jeff Jarrett’s finally the champ of the world.

Boy, this PPV was both fun and frustrating. Fun because recent WCW PPVs at the time were anything but. The general consensus was that locker room morale was as good as it’s ever been in recent memory at the time of the show. But the two hours and 40 minutes show both what WCW could have been and what WCW really was in the Russo-Bischoff era. It was a mess. It was overbooked. And all too often, it didn’t make sense. But it was better than Uncensored.

Compliment Sandwich: New Blood Rising

The summer of 2000 was a great time to be a wrestling fan—that is, if you were a fan of the World Wrestling Federation. The Rock finally got a sustained run as WWF Champion and the clear #1 guy, their other #1 guy Stone Cold Steve Austin was on his way back from neck surgery, and their television shows have never been crisper, with most of the blemishes from the early days of the Attitude Era behind them. Oh, and apparently the WWF is so flush with money, Vince McMahon gets a crazy idea: start a football league that will run in the NFL's offseason: the XFL. 

If you rode with ECW, the shit's about to hit the fan and you don't even know it. Though your television deal with TNN has finally gotten you that national exposure you've always wanted, they've put so many fingerprints on the show it doesn't feel like ECW anymore. Of course, they're not really behind your programming; there aren't any promos for it. Hell, there are more promos for the show that follows it, Rollerjam, than yours. And it gets worse, my friend: Viacom, the parent company of TNN, has basically used your show as a test balloon to see if wrestling would be viable on their network. After being on the USA Network since the late 1980s, the WWF, the recipients of some $100 million American, is about to move their cable programming to Viacom networks. That includes TNN, which will be rebranded later as Spike TV.

If you were a fan of WCW, the situation was much more dire. The New Blood-Millionaires Club angle, the one that was to jumpstart WCW, was essentially abandoned when Hulk Hogan and WCW got a very ugly, very public divorce the previous month. This was during a year where the world title changed hands 12 times in three months (including title changes on three consecutive episodes of Nitro and one reign by actor David Arquette) and the booking team changed at least three times. At least there was a silver lining: Booker T emerges as just the second black world champion in its company’s history. Much of this year was booked—or should I say overbooked—by Vince Russo, by the end of which, he would have a world title reign himself and contribute to the company operating at a $60 million loss in its final full year of operation. And be out of a job. As will most WCW employees when the WWF buys them from AOL Time Warner in March 2001.

But let’s talk about the abomination that is New Blood Rising, WCW’s replacement August PPV for Hog Wild, later renamed Road Wild when Harley-Davidson threatened to sue WCW for using Hog. This PPV already has made more at the gate than their previous four August outings; why, you ask? The Wild PPVs were held at the annual Sturgis Bike Rally, and since it was basically open to the public, no money was made at the gate. This one: Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver (pay attention to that nugget: quiz later). 12 matches on this show. Twelve. When people discuss the haphazard method of booking Vince Russo uses, they usually point to this show. Well either this one or Wrestlemania XV. It also features the infamous “Judy Bagwell on a Forklift” match.

I will try to watch this with an open mind and incorporate nice things. But I’ve seen this show before, and it is as awful as everyone says it is. So if I rage quit somewhere (which I probably will), you know why. By the way, I will review this in context of what went on in WCW at the time of the show, though I will reference the future from time to time.

• I’m already starting with a hate. Oh boy. Gonna be a long three hours. Say what you will about the state of WWE, but the production people PUT IN WORK with the video packages and intros. WCW: not so much. I hate the opening so bad.
• This is a trios ladder match. Why are regular tag rules in effect?
• Never mind.
• I gotta mention that I hate Tank Abbott’s shirt with the nipple holes. What the hell, WCW?
• This isn’t as crisp as the triple ladder match from Wrestlemania 2K (or the three sequels, one two weeks later, the second at Wrestlemania X-Seven, the third on Smackdown about seven weeks later) but for what its worth, it’s pretty good.
• I hate you Tank Abbott, you no-selling fat fuck.
• A wild Disco Inferno appears. He’s alive, by the way.
• Wait… so Ernest Miller’s a face? And not even three minutes ago, he did a heel move by adding a team to the tag title match? I don’t get it. Do not like.
• A wild Tygress appears. I do like.
• Lotta kicking in that match. Might as well play to your strengths.
• Great Muta lost to Ernest Miller though. Do not like.
• Oh… here we go. Bagwell on a forklift.
• Kanyon’s mic doesn’t work. I like.
• All the insider jargon: DO. NOT. LIKE. In fact, I hate, I hate, I HATE. I’ll get to why I hate later.
• I should have mentioned this: if Judy wasn’t handcuffed to the forklift, why didn’t she jump off while the lift was down? Hell, why won’t she jump off now? I mean, I give her better than 50/50 if she makes the leap.
• Diamond cutter > Kanyon cutter.
• Fuck me, it’s David Arquette.
• Guess we’re still not calling DQs in WCW. Do not like.
• Bagwell wins, and post-match, Arquette gets a Kanyon cutter. I like.
• Goldberg in a “serious motorcycle accident”. This is right up there with Ricardo Rodriguez’s “severe injury”.
• As Cewsh Reviews puts it, it’s Kronik versus the WCW Power Plant All Stars in a four-corners match for the tag titles. With the Filthy Animals (who have possession of the belts but are not the champions) as referees. F. M. L.
• By the way, please explain why we are muting “ass” on PPV.
• I admit, I paid zero attention to this match. I regret nothing.
• The ending though: do not like. At all.
• I kinda had a crush on Pamela Paulshock back in the day.
• Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman. I swear those two had a “Viagra on a Pole” match once.
• They did. Two weeks before the PPV.
• Torrie Wilson not quite in her prime. I still like.
• It should be worth pointing out that this is pinfall or submission to win, similar to the match between The Rock and Triple H from a year before.
• Run-ins by Vito, then Reno post-match. Nobody cared.
• Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock in an ROTC match, ROTC standing for Rip Off the Camouflage. Major Gunns is adult film star Tylene Buck, Miss Hancock is Stacy Keibler, former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader, future ex-girlfriend of George Clooney. Mudpit standing by.
• As a match, this is horrible. This is a catfight and should have been booked as such.
• Oh, now would be a good time to point out that at the time of the match, Miss Hancock was “pregnant”.
• Fuck my life, we’re getting Terri Runnels-D’Lo Brown 1999 all over again.  I won’t acknowledge that nonsense any further.
• The Demon, one of the worst contracts in WCW history (through no fault of his own) is crushed by Sting in just 52 seconds. I love.
• This, by the way, was a “special main event”.
• Including the entrance and post-match beatdown, Sting, one of WCW’s most popular performers, appears on camera for two and a half minutes total.
• Lance Storm got the rocket strapped to his back when he came to WCW. In his first three months on their roster, he won the US title—then turned it Canadian, won the Cruiserweight title—then turned it to the 100 kilo and under title, then won the Hardcore title—then turned it to the Saskatchewan Hardcore International title (basically, Canadian).
• And this is how a crowd dies. Vancouver knew Bret Hart was in the building. They wanted Bret. They expected Bret. They get Jacques Rougeau. The fucking Mountie. Really?
• I will say this though: Storm was insanely over in Canadia.
• Three rule changes and crooked referring needed to retain the Canadian title in Lance’s home country. I extremely hate.
• It amazes me that WCW could have used this golden opportunity to play up Storm's Canadian heritage to their advantage. Why should the Canadian, in his home country where he is cheered, have to overcome such overwhelming odds and have him booked like a pussy? I'm not even Canadian and I hate this.
• Oh, look. A wild Bret Hart appears. (Side note: Hart’s final WCW appearance happens less than a month later. On Thunder.)
• Second match of the night for Muta and Kronik. Muta is ½ the Dark Carnival along with Vampiro. Also, second tag title match tonight.
• Fucking Harris Brothers ruin everything.
• THAT MATCH. Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner. Here we get one of my biggest pet peeves: a triple threat match with nothing at stake.
• And Goldberg doesn’t show. Yet they play the music again.
• No Goldberg. So it’s Nash vs. Steiner.
• Correction: this is a #1 contender’s match for the WCW World Championship. Winner gets the champion at Fall Brawl.
• At least Nash and Steiner are trying. I like, I suppose.
• Hey look, a wild Bill Goldberg appears. This, by the way, was a couple months after the most ill-conceived heel turn in recent memory. Why so ill-conceived? Goldberg was for about two years THE face of WCW in the muck that was the New World Order.
• 2:19:42. The shoot finish begins. Why are we muting naughty words?
• Ok, back to earlier. My beef with all the insider jargon and such on WCW programming (and later TNA programming). For my thoughts, I defer to an e-mail received by one of the people who wrote for DDT Digest back in 2000:

To your casual fan who just watches wrestling for what it is, they wouldn't have had a clue whats going on. Why is there a week with no WCW TV? Why's Bischoff back? Who the hell is Russo? Whats going on? Why are they declaring all titles vacant. The situation was never really explained and the same goes for a lot of things in WCW.I firmly believe that Russo wants to get internet fans on his side. Example, giving Lance Storm three title. Internet fans love him. Sure, he's a great wrestler, but he doesn't deserve three belts, not so early in his WCW career. It's just catering for internet fans.And then he likes to 'swerve' them.Goldberg turning heel was done terribly. And remember the constant title changes on every show? David Arquette anyone?Someone made a good point recently, in a newsgroup, after reading what Bob Ryder said about WWF also catering to internet fans. They said, 'WWF caters for the fans at WWF.com, WCW caters for fans at www.pwtorch.com, www.wrestlingobserver.com. I thought that was a great comment.

• In other words, many fans have the Internet. But many, many more fans DO NOT HAVE THE INTERNET (or these days, many people get their wrestling news from the Internet, but many, many DO NOT get their wrestling news from wrestling news sites or dirtsheets because, let’s be honest, many, many people have the Internet). You better damn well cater to that bigger segment of people because the advertisers sure do. The hardcore fans: you have them hooked regardless. You have to get the casual fan. The common fan. The fan that wants to watch the show for the show, not what goes on behind the show. A good example is the Summer of Punk angle in WWE. Yes, they touched on what went on behind the scenes, but kept it just insider enough for hardcore fans to be happy, and lifted the curtain just high enough so casual fans can still suspend disbelief. For a few months, the WWE had that "what are they going to do next?" vibe that had casual fans--probably fans that never even watched a wrestling show before--talking. Basically, it's this: WWE tilts the fourth wall. WCW (and to a lesser extent, TNA today) takes a sledgehammer to the fourth wall. Or should I say, a Shockmaster.
• And fuck you Schiavone, Madden, and Hudson for obliterating the fourth wall and praising Scott Steiner. No credit for doing your job. I'm glad the three of you don't have jobs in the wrestling business. (Though, if I were to hire one of the three, it would be Hudson. He's the least annoying of the group.)
• I stopped writing this a little after 4pm Tuesday. It's nearly 24 hours later, and I still have to watch the main event. Gonna push through this now.
• Seriously, I wonder how much it costs to hire Michael Buffer. Just him announcing WCW events literally every week has to have him get enough coin to retire five or six times over.
• At least there's some psychology going on in the main event. I like that.
• Another one of the many guitars smashed by Jeff Jarrett. I'm sure he smashed thousands of them. Never drew a dime. 
• Wow. Jarrett got fuckered up on that Rock Bottom. (I refuse to call it the Bookend.)
• Pretty sweet finish though. I dig that.
• Vancouver doesn't seem to care though. They've been throwing stuff in the ring since about three minutes before the match ended.
• Seriously though: Booker T deserved better during WCW's dying days.

After spending some 27 hours (in real time) getting through this nightmare of a show, I have to say this: this was awful. The main event is solid, but it's very main eventy (two ref bumps), the opener is okay (aside from Tank Abbott nipples), but the rest of this show was all sorts of garbage. If you really want to sit through this, I recommend watching the crew from newLegacyinc take this show to the woodshed.

Or for a better juxtaposition, watch a PPV that happened just two weeks later that is considered among the best in WWE history: Summerslam 2000. This show, by the way, features a way better ladder match and a main event where an unexpected occurrence doesn't require a significant breaking of the fourth wall.

You're welcome.