Compliment Sandwich- WWE Magazine’s 15 Reasons Why WCW Nitro Failed

Right around time of RAW’s 15^th anniversary, WWE put out a special commemorative issue highlighting the best and worst of WWE’s signature show. This was a year and a half before The Rise and Fall of WCW (which I highly recommend you watch, regardless of how you feel about WWE’s spin of some events), but it was a good six years after RAW’s competition, WCW Monday Nitro, left the airwaves. And always willing to beat a dead horse, WWE had a list dedicated to the show that it beat down (even after Nitro had beaten RAW every week for a year and a half): 15 reasons why Nitro failed.

Now, as it is my job to put a positive spin on some of the worst of wrestling (and through the benefit of hindsight), I’ll (attempt) to put a positive spin on the reasons why Nitro failed.

(15) Tony Schiavone. Sorry, I can’t even say anything nice about the man who claimed every night “was the greatest night in the history of the sport”. He spent most of his career in NWA/JCP/WCW, but did have a cup of coffee in the WWF in 1989 and 1990. The tease of the Wrestlemania VI main event between Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior that happened at the Royal Rumble was voiced by him. Apparently, he cooked a lot of bridges in WCW, allegedly hiding finishes and angles from his co-commentators and being generally lazy. Also, according to Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, he was only allowed a brief statement on his friend/co-commentator Gorilla Monsoon following his passing, though Schiavone didn’t want any mention of it at all. I could see why Schiavone didn’t like the idea: he replaced—and was replaced—by Monsoon in the WWF broadcast booth. Monsoon was beloved. Still is, for that matter. When WCW went under, the WWF didn’t come calling for Tony. When TNA was a PPV promotion, Tony was kicked after just one week. Even commentator/editor-in-chief of the Camel Clutch Blog Eric Garigulo had not nice things to say about Tony:

“Interestingly enough, I did a show back in 2007 as an announcer which was taped for pay-per-view from San Francisco. I got the booking when Tony Schiavone canceled. It amazed me that anyone would pay this man a penny to call a match on their pay-per-view. I was more than happy to take his booking.”

And with that, Tony, we’re out of time. You can go straight to hell.

(14) nWo 2000. WCW can only take partial blame for why this contributed to Nitro’s failure. Let’s make this clear: the New World Order was one of the greatest contributions to wrestling ever. Ever. That’s not debatable. How long it should have stuck around is, and while everyone has an opinion, many are of the opinion that bringing the group back in late 1999 was a bad idea. And perhaps as an act of karma, nearly everyone involved with the angle suffered. Goldberg, their main adversary, injured his arm breaking a limousine window. Chris Benoit, also feuding with the group, left for the WWF. Bret Hart, the group’s leader, was concussed into early retirement. Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash also had to sit out with injuries. Just as quickly as the “band got back together”, they were broken up.

(13) Anti-American Jim Duggan. No. Just… no.

(12) Chavo Guerrero and Pepe. All things considered, Pepe was far and away not the worst thing to happen to Eddie Guerrero’s nephew. For your consideration, in no particular order, here are five things worse:

a.      Chavo Guerrero once lost his ECW title match to Kane in ten seconds at WrestleMania 24.

b.     Chavo Guerrero was once karate chopped by Bob Barker.

c.      Chavo Guerrero was once Jack Swagger’s “Soaring Eagle”.

d.     Chavo Guerrero was once Kerwin White.

e.     Chavo Guerrero was the last man to lose the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. The manhe it lost to: Hornswoggle.

(11) Vince Russo in the Popemobile. Vince Russo: WCW world heavyweight champion is a much more egregious offense.

(10) Matches in the Mall of America. Those matches in the Mall of America beat Monday Night RAW that week in the ratings. Scoreboard.

(9) Fingerpoke of Doom. This moment did far more damage to WCW than any of us realize up until the whole Arquette thing. Forget the fact that Tony Schiavone on orders of Eric Bischoff foolishly underestimated the appeal of Mick Foley. Forget the fact for a moment that they were giving away yet another potential money-making main event (Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan were leading the two nWo factions in WCW—and they were at war with one another). Forget the fact that just over a year earlier, the WWF did something similar. Forget the fact that ratings actually stayed relatively steady in the weeks following this. This moment was a big middle finger to every one in WCW not named Kevin Nash or Hulk Hogan, and a big “fuck you” to every fan of wrestling in general. This title change makes the Montreal Screwjob pretty damn defensible. And that shit’s hard to defend. Apparently, there is a conspiracy theory that Hogan and Nash were plotting this from when Goldberg won the title fromHogan six months earlier in the Georgia Dome. I kinda believe it. That’s what you get, WCW. You never deserved to catch the WWF after that. I will say one nice thing: it doesn’t belong at #9. It belongs much, much higher. Like... #2. 

(8) The Magnificent Seven. Clearly not learning from their mistakes, WCW put together yet another stable in the dying days: The Magnificent Seven. Here’s the group: world champion Scott Steiner, WCW on-screen CEO Ric Flair, Rick Steiner, Jeff Jarrett, Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, and Road Warrior Animal. Would you take this group seriously? You put seven upper-midcarders against this group, and they’d smoke them. That’s a fact.

(7) “Crazy” Ric Flair. Forget for a moment that Ric Flair may be legitimately crazy these days. Ric Flair and mental hospital are two things that shouldn’t be in the same sentence. Ever. It made the idea of Ric Flair as Spartacus look genius.

(6) New Blood vs. Millionaires Club. This was WCW’s last serious effort to generate interest in their product. They retconned everything and started over in a major reboot. Risky, considering the reboot was on the Monday before a PPV. And for a few weeks, it worked. The roster was as energized as it was in a long time. But here’s what killed it: the booking. The Millionaire’s Club, perceived to be the ones holding the younger talent back, were the faces in the feud against the New Blood. From the April 10, 2000 reboot to Bash at the Beach that July, the WCW world title changed hands twelve times, six of them coming on Nitro. Though Billy Kidman was one of the main sparks of the feud, he actually came out worse for it in the end (thanks to Hulk Hogan). In fact, the only person to come out better for the feud was Booker T. And he spent most of the feud as GI Bro. Think about that. Oh, and Kimberly Page. She had the sense to quit.

(5) Steve “Mongo” McMichael. Steve was a member of the Super Bowl-winning Chicago Bears in 1985, one of the greatest football teams ever assembled. And that’s where the niceness ends. Mongo was a bad commentator, bad wrestler, and if it weren’t for Paul Roma, would be the worst Horseman ever. Yes, Mongo was bad, but he was far from the most offensive. Plus, Mongo once was married to this.

(4) Disco Inferno. Again, bad? Yes. But enjoyably bad. In fact, Disco was one of my personal favorites in WCW. He was a guy you’d love to hate. And he is still alive, if you’re wondering. Like Mongo, not WCW killer bad, but bad enough to not cross into the offensive line. You know, like…

(3) The One Warrior Nation. WCW, allegedly at the request of Hulk Hogan, paid a hefty sum (as much as $2 million American) to get the legit crazy Ultimate Warrior on their roster for one purpose: to get that win back from Wrestlemania VI. Forget for a moment that the match from Halloween Havoc 1998 is legitimately one of the worst in recorded history. The Warrior return nosedived from the moment he got on the microphone. He talked. And talked. And talked. And pretty much lull people to sleep. And if that didn’t do it, subsequent Nitros saw Warrior appear and disappear in a cloud of smoke and trap doors and mirrors, a la The Undertaker (in fact, one of those trap doors essentially ended Davey Boy Smith’s career). And if that didn’t turn you away, then Warrior turning nWo member Disciple (aka Hogan BFF Ed Leslie) into some sort of gay sex slave probably will. The Warrior era ended after just twelve weeks, and as he had an ironclad contract, was paid a hefty sum of money to stay home. Compared to other financial flops that would befall WCW, this was minor. But among critical flops, this is easily near the top of the list.

(2) Misfits inAction. This was the group of wrestlers that was left out in the cold from the New Blood-Millionaires Club angle. The only problem was the group (outside of Booker T) was largely a bunch of jobbers no one cared about. Except adult film star Tylene Buck, aka Major Gunns. She was hot. It’s hardly a reason why Nitro failed, much less #2.

(1) David Arquette. He appeared on just three episodes of Nitro, yet his appearances did irreparable damage. In his defense, it wasn’t his fault. Really, it wasn’t. In a production meeting, Tony Schiavone jokingly kicked around the idea that David Arquette (who was on Nitro and Thunder to promote the WCW movie Ready to Rumble) could be world champion. Leave it to Vince Russo (who once thought Tank Abbott should be world champion) to take the idea seriously. To his credit, David (himself a longtime wrestling fan) thought that this was not a good idea. It didn’t stop Vinnie Ru from doing it, and on an episode of Thunder…of THUNDER, David Arquette wins the title, killing any remaining credibility the world title, the one held by guys like Ric Flair, Sting, Vader, even Hulk fucking Hogan, once had. To quote a wrestling message board post in 2009, “if the Fingerpoke of Doom gushed blood out of the organs of WCW, then the Arquette title win shot the organization in the face with the elephant gun.” I’m pretty sure no one recovers from being shot in the face with an elephant gun (I can't speak to this as I've never been shot with an elephant gun, nor know anyone that has), and neither did WCW. Ready to Rumble flopped, WCW TV ratings flopped, Slamboree 2000, in which Arquette was defending the world title, flopped, and WCW’s checkbook flopped and faceplanted in the cement. Something good did come out of it though: Arquette sensibly donated his WCW earnings to the families of Brian Pillman and Darren Drozdov. 

RAW Bowl: Proof That Football And Wrestling Don't Mix

Last fall, an episode of Monday Night RAW garnered a 2.5 rating. At the time, that episode was the least-watched non-holiday RAW since 1997. Amazingly, WWE managed to break through the floor. Twice.  Granted, the second of the two occurred on a holiday. But as bad as ratings were around this time last year, just remember: once upon a time they were worse.

A September 1995 episode of RAW did a 1.9. So did a March 1997 RAW episode. The one in March, taking place in Berlin, Germany, was so poorly received, that the next week, RAW got a makeover and became RAW is WAR. (Such a shame really. The 200^th episode special was a pretty stacked card, including the European Championship final that is absolutely the tits.) If a 1.9 rating for what was a classic episode couldn't produce drastic change, then why couldn't this episode of RAW do the same? Well, boys and girls, travel with me if you will to 1996.

No, no, not the awesome summer of 1996, the summer of Austin 3:16 and the New World Order. I mean the beginning of 1996, where we’re still trying to recover from the hangover that was 1995. 1995: the year of the Dungeon of Doom, Diesel not drawing flies, Duke the Dumpster, and dreadful wrestling. The two big wrestling feds were dealing with clique problems: the WWF with Shawn Michaels and friends having pretty much their run of the place, and WCW with Hulk Hogan and his BFFs taking over their programming.

Oh, and in its infancy was the Monday Night Wars. Give Eric Bischoff and the people running WCW at the time credit. They were raising the bar in what could be done on a free wrestling show. Case in point: the opening match on the January 1 Nitro was Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage. And the main event: Ric Flair defending the WCW World Heavyweight Championship against Hulk Hogan. WWF’s offering was in the can for two weeks (which kinda sorta made sense because, you know, the holidays). But when that can was opened, we were treated to one of the lower points in WWF history. Strap on your helmets, fans. Because in the spirit of football season, it’s RAW BOWL time.

--

The first (and as it turned out, only) RAW Bowl aired on January 1, 1996, but was taped two Mondays prior from the Bob Carpenter Center at the University of Delaware. The main hook (and bulk of) the show was its football-themed four corners elimination tag team match, with the winner taking home the Lombardi Trophy presented by The Brooklyn Brawler (real name: Steve Lombardi). So, like nearly every post-season college football bowl game, nothing more than bragging rights were at stake. And like college football, the champions were pretty much predetermined (this, by the way, was during the Bowl Alliance era, a precursor to the Bowl Championship Series. This was back in the era where there was no one-game winner-take-all season ender.)

The football clichés were on full blast here. I’ll try and keep track of them all here. Anyways, the main selling point of this “special episode” was a four corners tag team match, and in keeping with the football theme, all the participants were wearing jerseys. Also of note, this show marked the debut of the infamous “Billionaire Ted” skits and had quite the surprise announcement as to who would be in the Royal Rumble match.

Thankfully, since this show is from 1996, it’s only an hour, about 48 minutes if you do away with ads and such. Can I say anything nice about a football-themed WWF show?

• And less than a minute in, I’ve already lost count. But here’s what I’ve caught: pregame crowd outside the building, band, cheerleaders, a homecoming queen, sideline reporters. That’s not counting the three or four clichés Carnival Barker Vince McMahon was spouting.
• Oh, and we get a Diesel vs. Mabel match in this episode. I’m in full hate mode already. If you need an explanation, I simply refer to their bout at Summerslam 1995 as evidence.
• And a Jim Ross crack: “Jumbo Jim”. Even in the mid-90s, Vinnie Mac couldn’t resist taking jabs at Ross. Fuck.
• Yeah, it wasn’t the Orange Bowl, which featured Florida State rallying from 12 down in the fourth quarter earlier in the day to beat Notre Dame. It certainly wasn’t the Fiesta Bowl played the next night, where top-ranked Nebraska curb stomped second-ranked Florida to the tune of 62-24. No, it wasn’t either of those classics by any stretch.
• Vin McMahon and Jerry Musburgerking on the call. Vince McMahon will have more negative things said about him today than Vin Scully will in his entire life. That’s a fact. And Jerry Musburgerking? What the hell is this, a Wheel of Fortune puzzle?
• Lawler in a Cleveland Browns jersey is still sad, even today. The 1995 Browns started 3-1, then lost nine of their next ten games before finishing the year 5-11. During their 1-9 run, it was announced the Browns would relocate to Balitmore, where they’ve been much more successful since.
• The tag team champions out first, tearing through the banner, the Smoking Gunns. Billy Gunn wearing #38, Bart Gunn wearing #45. Because they’re guns. Get it? Jam an icepick into my retina. BTW: the tag belts are not on the line in this four corners elimination tag match.
• Out next is the team that beat them for the belts at Wrestlemania XI (and would beat a few months later), Owen Hart (#1…well, because he thinks he is) and Yokozuna (#641…well, because he’s fat.)
• Brother Love leading a locker room prayer. Because bringing a guy who’s three shades redder than red back is good for business.
• Razor Ramon (#4 for the number of times he’s been WWF Intercontinental Champion, at the time a record) and Savio Vega (Uno because… yeah, nevermind. Fucking WWF.) out next.
• Goldust’s usher handing out flowers. Razor no like flowers. A wild Goldust appears.
• 1-2-3 Kid (#123 because… 1-2-3) and Sycho Sid (#00 because reasons) with Ted Dibiase out last. The Kid and Sid. Apparently they’re a six and a half point favorites. Really? The tag champs (and the former tag champs) are in this match and they’re the favorites? Steiner math thinks that’s ridiculous.
• Rules because there have to be: two in at a time. When one member of the team is beat for any reason, the whole team leaves. Each team can stop the match once for a timeout. Anyone can tag anyone else, but physical contact must be made before tagging out to someone else.
• Earl Hebner in football referee gear this evening.
• Owen Hart tags in Billy Gunn. They must engage.
• And they engage for a bit, then they simultaneously tag Owen and Yokozuna. Engage, Owen.
• Yeah, how did ya think that was gonna go, Owen? He’s fat.
• Savio Vega in. Yeah, not going too well for Savio.
• 1-2-3 Kid in with Savio Vega.
• A wild Goldust appears. The football clichés keep coming.
• Owen Hart back in, 1-2-3 Kid out.
• Razor Ramon in.
• Lawler sitting with the RAW Bowl queen, whom we find out is someone named Ashley.
• A couple tags and Sycho Sid is in. Shit done got real.
• Dirty old man Jerry Lawler is dirty old man.
• Bart Gunn done blowed up Sid.
• Brother Love with another pre-game locker room prayer. The match is well in progress, guy.
• You know what conference Sid is from? The WAC. The Western Athletic Conference? No, the wack. Because he’s wacko. Hey-o.
• Savio with a barrel roll and Razor Ramon is in with his former/future BFF 1-2-3 Kid.
• Kid calls timeout. Razor does not care. Hebner throws the flag.
• Sid with a blow to the back as play resumes, and Razor and Savio are out. Savio wanted timeout, but no dice. Hebner never saw it.
• Gunns 100-1 to win the RAW Bowl? Think I better call my bookie.
• Some would argue the most prestigious trophy in sports is the Stanley Cup, but to each his own.
• Billy Gunn is swinging on everybody.
• Fat Yokozuna is fat. Billy Gunn is moved and Owen Hart gets crushed, and is pinned by Billy. Yokozuna wanted timeout, but for the second time, Hebner misses it. Owen and Yokozuna are out.
• Diesel vs. Mabel later. Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little bit.
• Sid with a near fall on the Hogan leg drop.
• Sid with a one-handed chokeslam.
• Ashley’s still there? Oh, there she is.
• Dibiase distracts the ref, Kid goes up top, Razor pushes Kid off, sending him to Sid, and Billy picks up the scraps. The Smoking Gunns win the RAW Bowl.
• Creepy Jerry Lawler is still creepy.
• Shawn Michaels press conference scheduled for the following Monday.
• RAW Bowl halftime report presented by Wrigley’s with Dok Hendrix. Fastest two minutes in sports, I guess.
• Bret Hart vs. Undertaker for the WWF title announced. Bret Hart compared to the Nebraska Cornhuskers, Undertaker compared to the Florida Gators. Hart-Taker was a lot closer than Nebraska-Florida. Just saying.
• Highlights of the In Your House match between Henry Godwinn and Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Yeah, I’ll pass.
• Fat King Mabel is fat. This man won a King of the Ring and main evented a Summerslam once. About a decade later he got to make out with Lilian Garcia. I hate him.
• Brother Love still leading a prayer. RAW Bowl is over.
• Diesel out next.
• Oh, and RAW Queen Ashley is still there.
• Wow. Quick eight second squash of Mabel. Mabel would be out of the WWF three weeks later.
• Jackknife powerbomb to Mo. Diesel is in full “Diesel’s had enough of your shit” mode.
• Diesel is still a ladies man. Bitches love Diesel. It was a really good year for Diesel.
• It’s a Brisk Tea bath for the Brooklyn Brawler.
• The Vader package, albeit brief, was pretty damn awesome (not to mention a bit of a jaw dropper for many wrestling fans).
• There’s also the premiere of the Billionaire Ted skits, and that’s that.

So was it the one of the worst RAWs ever? Well, yes. And no. It depends on how you viewed the episode. If you were looking at as a pure wrestling program for good matches and storyline advancement, then you’ll likely hate the episode. As a standalone RAW, it’s okay. The four team tag match was pretty decent. The extra fluff was what it was. The football puns and creepy Jerry Lawler being creepy will likely grind your gears. But this was a holiday episode, and the WWE, even back then, doesn’t try hard over the holidays.

And now the most stunning fact from this night (other than the fact that Shawn Michaels did retire the following week, only to take it back at the Royal Rumble two weeks later and win the thing): the RAW Bowl, taped two weeks earlier, narrowly beat Nitro with a Hogan-Flair main event done live 2.6 to 2.5. Why change when you don’t have to? That answer would come that summer.

So, remember kids, appreciate the wrestling product you have now. It could easily be much worse. It could be mid-90s WWF. Or worse, it could be TNA.

And that football and wrestling don't mix. 

Rocktober is Coming

This will have to do until I come up with a somewhat more proper logo.

Next month, I will watch 31 of the defining matches of the career of the most electrifying man in sports entertainment...entertainment...sports. The People's Champion The Rock.

Here's the list:

1. Rock vs. Austin (Wrestlemania X-Seven)
2. Rock vs. Austin (Wrestlemania XIX)
3. Rock vs. Austin (Wrestlemania XV)
4. Rock vs. Triple H (Judgment Day 2000)
5. Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan (Wrestlemania X-8)
6. Rock vs. Kurt Angle (No Way Out 2001)
7. Rock vs. Triple H (Summerslam 1998)
8. Rock vs. John Cena (Wrestlemania XXVIII)
9. Rock vs. Mankind (Royal Rumble 1999)
10. Rock vs. Mankind (St. Valentines Day Massacre)
11. Rock vs. Austin (Backlash 1999)
12. Rock vs. Brock Lesnar (Summerslam 2002)
13. Rock vs. Triple H (Backlash 2000)
14. Rock vs. Chris Benoit (Fully Loaded 2000)
15. Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle (Vengeance 2002)
16. Rock vs. Chris Jericho (No Mercy 2001)
17. Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. Triple H (Summerslam 2000)
18. Rock vs. Mankind (Halftime Heat)
19. Rock vs. Mankind vs. Ken Shamrock (Breakdown)
20. Rock vs. Ric Flair (RAW July 2002)
21. Rock vs. Eddie Guerrero (RAW July 2002)
22. Rock and Austin vs. New World Order (RAW March 2002)
23. Rock vs. Triple H (RAW 1997)
24. Rock vs. Triple H vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show (Wrestlemania 2K)
25. Rock vs. Mankind (Survivor Series 1998)
26. Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin vs. Rikishi vs. Triple H vs. Undertaker (Armageddon 2000)
27. Rock vs. Goldberg (Backlash 2003)
28. Rock & John Cena vs. Awesome Truth (Survivor Series 2011)
29. Rock vs. Rob Van Dam (Smackdown 2001)
30. Rock vs. Mankind (RAW 1999)
31. Team Rock vs. Team DX (RAW February 2000)

Brace yourselves for ROCKTOBER! 

Compliment Sandwich: i-Generation Superstars of Wrestling (aka Rodman Down Under)

Rodman Down Under (better known as i-Generation Wrestling Superstars of Wrestling, referred to here on as iGW) took place at the Sydney Superdome in Sydney, Australia on July 30, 2000. This was the only filmed event on iGW's tour of Australia, bringing together some wrestling legends. But at the time, getting competent legends was a tough task, as North America had a fully functioning WWF, a fully functioning (though slowly dying) WCW, and a fully functioning (though also slowly dying) ECW. Though the name i-Generation Wrestling suggested something new and innovative, the youngest male performer on the roster was Johnny Grunge at age 34. i-Generation? Try Baby Boom Generation.

The show is considered among wrestling pundits and fans as among the worst in wrestling history. And to think, people paid $24.95 for this back in 2000. Though the show took place on July 30, it didn't air in the United States until December. In fact, the weekend it aired, two of the three championships changed hands again.

So can i-Possibly say anything nice about this bargain bin PPV? Well, I found video of it, but the commentary is in German. Looks like I'll be watching this one on mute, which may not be a bad thing.

• Opening video package is mid-1990s WCW awful. But it at least establishes Dennis Rodman as the heel. So there’s that.
• The matchup screen looks like it could have been for a 16-bit fighting game.
• Vince Mancini and Ted DiBiase (yes, THAT Ted DiBiase) are doing commentary…for the American audience. But I’m watching the German version. And the announcers refer to themselves as Vince and Ted. Oh, and they’re in a studio. Green screen. What is this, 1986?
• Hey Worm! You’re Ugly! At least the creativity bar is low. BTW: many of the signs from the show were handed out.
• iGW champion Curt Hennig (aka the late Mr. Perfect) calls out Dennis Rodman to start. Set by the way is a weird hybrid of Nitro’s 1997 and 2000 sets.
• Why we’re starting the show with a promo? Time is money. Shut up and fight.
• Rodzilla killer in the front row, by the way. Nice.
• Public Enemy versus the Road Warriors for the iGW tag team titles. Public Enemy apparently are the tag champs heading in. Match was set up by PE jumping said Road Warriors in a press conference. This is a tables match.
• Way to finish that roll, Johnny Grunge. Grunge, if you missed the last post, is the youngest male performer on the show at age 34.
• Road Warriors (or Legion of Doom if you prefer). It saddens me that they’re coming out to some dance pop type music. It makes their 1998 theme tolerable.
• Grunge is hungry. Or something.
• Louie Anderson look-alike does not seem amused.
• I believe the hard camera shot is similar to that of No Mercy, WWF Attitude, and the recently released (at the time) WWF Smackdown. BTW: the game play difference between Smackdown and Attitude are night and day. But No Mercy blew them both away. I’d still take Smackdown over Attitude though.
• Ok, this is a tables match. Why do the teams have to tag in and out?
• Things I don’t miss about the Attitude Era: the crotch chop.
• Is Hawk going for a pin in a tables match?
• Hawk and Rock are the first two out. So it’s just Animal and Grunge for the belts. Rock with a chair, not that there are rules or anything.
• Animal battering rams Public Enemy into the table, and that’ll do it. Well, Grunge walks toward the table, but whateves. Road Warriors win the tag titles.
• Get used to those belts, by the way. They appear again on this show.
• Seriously. Road Warriors with techno music: no. Just… no.
• The i-Generettes appear for the first time. The Generettes are iGW’s answer to WCW’s Nitro Girls. I know a lot of smarks hate these little dance numbers, but they’re a harmless diversion if nothing else. The Nitro Girls are way better though. Just saying.
• Barbarian out first for this hardcore match. Barbarian was of course, one half (or one third) of the Faces of Fear in WCW.
• His opponent: Brute Force, aka Ed Leslie. You may know him as Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, or The Butcher, or Zodiac, or The Booty Man, or The Man with No Name, or the Man with No Face.
• That bell is unnatural sounding. I meant to point that out in the first match. Sounds like the bell from Jerry Springer.
• For those thinking there’s no such thing as a bad hardcore match, I present Barbarian versus Brute Force as the contrary.
• Swing and a miss on the steps that couldn’t weigh more than like six pounds.
• Crowd is super dead for this one, and I can’t blame them.
• And there’s your obligatory low blow. (The first match had quite a few. This is a recurring theme in this show.)
• Worst. Diamond Cutter. Ever.
• An awful diamond cutter, DDT, and piledriver don’t finish the match, but a boot to a trash can lid does. Okay.
• And would it kill you to sell the effects of the match on the way back, Bruti? Fuck.
• Wild Generettes appear.
• Women’s match next. Brandi Wine with Sugar Daddy (real name: Fred Ottman, best known as Tugboat, Typhoon, and…The Shockmaster). Sweet Destiny with Aussie Joe Bugner. Bugner, by the way, was born in Hungary. A side nugget about Aussie Joe: Bugner was the last man to defeat Britsh boxing legend Henry Cooper in 1971. The decision was quite controversial. Bugner also had a small role in the movie Street Fighter.
• And yes, it did sound like one of the German guys called Sweet Destiny Philadelphia Cunt.
• People seem to love Sweet Destiny and not Brandi Wine. This is probably the most alive this crowd has been since the show started. To quote KB’s Wrestling Reviews, in terms of looks, nothing to see here, especially with Trish Stratus at the peak of her hotness around this time.
• Hungarian…err…Aussie Joe puts the Shockmaster on his ass.
• Wait, the match is still going on?
• Yikes. Superplex looked bad.
• But it ends things, as Sweet Destiny, the “Philadelphia Cunt”, wins. Crowd approves.
• Once again, the Generettes.
• There’s still 45 minutes left in this video and only two matches left.
• One Man Gang vs. Tatanka for the iGW Australasian Championship. I guess that’s their term for Eurocontinental. Or something. In the video, it’s referred to as the International Heavyweight Championship. The belt looks suspiciously like the tag title belts from earlier in the show. Note how quick they cut away from said belt.
• At around 68 minutes, fans looks like are turning on the show. Trash is being thrown on the ramp in the direction of One Man Gang.
• And now they’re showering the ring with garbage. Yeah. They’re checking out.
• The match goes another 13 minutes (and a ref bump) before One Man Gang wins with an international object. That’s two out of two champions to lose tonight so far.
• Again, they quick cut from the championship belt.
• One last appearance by the golden-clad Generettes before we head into the main event, Mr. Perfect versus The Worm.
• How did two future Hall of Famers end up in Australia fighting for a title no one cared about? Hennig’s deal with WCW expired earlier that summer, and Dennis Rodman retired following a brief stint with the Dallas Mavericks, one that saw him get ejected twice in just 12 games. That takes some real talent.
• For those saying Curt Hennig was never a world champion, there ya go. Hennig was the iGW world champion. Hennig was also world champion in the dying days of the AWA, holding the title from May 1987-May 1988.
• Australian Outback rules by the way. Whatever that means.
• Rodman throws the referee out the ring, and somehow, that ends the match. The main event ends on a disqualification. Of course. Pull-apart brawl between the two post-match.
• There’s a post-match interview with Hennig and a highlight package to end, and that’s that.

The hook of Rodman Down Under was seeing Dennis Rodman in a wrestling match. I’m not sure why anyone would want to see Dennis Rodman in a wrestling match. But for those that did, well, you got him for ten minutes. Hope it was worth whatever money you spent on it. In my case, none. And it wasn’t. Perhaps the nicest thing I can say about Rodman Down Under: at least it wasn’t Heroes of Wrestling. And the Generettes were alright. I’d still take Kimberly, Stacy and the Nitro Girls crew though. Hell, I’d take the two beauties that walked out with Curt Hennig over the Generettes.

Back In The Saddle

Well, after a weekend of moving and getting kinda sorta settled, I'm back to making nice of the worst wrestling has to offer. Today's gonna be quite the doozy.

Today, I will try to make nice of recent Wrestlecrap Hall of Fame inductee i-Generation Wrestling's Superstars of Wrestling. Know in the United States as Rodman Down Under, the event emanated from the Sydney Superdome in Sydney, Australia on July 30, 2000, but did not air in the United States until December 1, 2000 (ironically, the same weekend, two of their three championships changed hands, but that's a different matter). This was the only filmed event of iGW's brief existence, as the group was a touring bunch that ran through Australia in late July and early August. Many of the same people behind the scenes involved in putting this show together would reunite a year later for World Wrestling All-Stars.

Now, as Wrestlecrap so astutely points out, when you think of i-Generation, probably the first thing that comes to mind is you're gonna get something new, something fresh, something outside the box. That wasn't the case. In fact, the youngest wrestler on this show at the time is 34, and two others, including main eventer/cover boy Dennis Rodman are closer to 40 than 38. As Wrestlecrap also points out, this is right up there in the false advertising department with the main event of Jerry Lawler vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper in the main event of the 1994 King of the Ring, the first PPV of the WWF "New Generation" era. But let's be honest: pickings were slim, as we were still living in a three major North American promotion world at the time. Also, as this show occurred a couple months before WCW toured the country, this was at the time arguably the biggest wrestling show on their grounds since the WWF toured there in 1986. Yeah, you could see just how starved the Aussies were for pro wrestling.

Originally when I did a list of worst PPVs not named Heroes of Wrestling (which I will do one of these days), I didn't include this show, mainly because I couldn't find any information on it at the time. The little I could find said this show was legendarily bad. Well, let's find out just how bad. 

From ArtODonnell's recent Wrestlecrap induction:

Perhaps the most damning criticism of the event I can offer, however, is that Roddy Piper vs. Lawler, last week’s induction, was far and away better than anything on this pay-per-view.

This is coming from a guy that sits through the WWF New Generation era and reviews the shows from that time. (A side nugget: his blog, "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" is worth your time and you should check it out. You're welcome.)

KB's Wrestling Reviews:

F. Well that was horrible but I can’t say it’s in Heroes of Wrestling territory. For one thing that show was nearly an hour longer and had some of the most embarrassing “wrestling” you’ll ever see. This was terrible stuff too but it wasn’t dragging the business down to never before seen lows. At the end of the day, this was only an hour and forty minutes with nearly twenty of that being spent on dancing or video packages. It’s terrible but it’s not the worst show of all time by a decent stretch.

An hour and 40 minutes. Honestly, that makes me feel good. The less awful wrestling, the better.

Cewsh of Cewsh's Reviews:

What a wacky show. 

We review a lot of varied stuff here at Cewsh Reviews, so we generally, going in, know basically what to expect (with the notable exception of the Bread Eating Deathmatch). I was sort of expecting this to be like a WCW PPV circa 2000, but that really wasn’t what this was at all. This was an indy promotion who were running a nostalgia show with a main event way out of their depth. The show wasn’t necessarily as bad as the scores will dictate, and may even be enjoyable to someone with a good dose of nostalgia behind them. But the fact that over 50% of this card passed away between then and now, the absolutely awful ending to the main event, and the fact that brute Force is not an esteemed member of the correct 50% just dragged this show down into the doldrums. Which was a shame, because FUCKING TATANKA WOOOO!

Now I'm curious to see what the deal is with the bread eating deathmatch. (Edit: the match is real, alright. I'll watch another time.)

Two Sheds Review, Britian's longest running wrestling and MMA blog:

I think the best way to describe this show is average - and I would have described it as below average if it wasn’t for the final two matches. If someone who hadn’t read this view asked me if I recommended this show, I say no, unless you can get it at bargain basement price, or you can tape it the next time it’s shown on TV. Rodman Down Under will not go down as one of the best shows in the history of professional wrestling, just as one of the most average.

While pretty much all the people above found the show online or bought it in one of those bargain bins, famed wrestling reviewer Scott Keith paid full freight at the time of the show ($24.95 American, which would be about $34 today). He's gonna be pissed, isn't he?

Heroes of Wrestling: The Sequel. I don’t know how Dave Meltzer could give Steve Seiden time on his show the other day without drowning the guy’s incessant hype out with his laughter. Easily the worst PPV of the year, with 5 matches, all bad, and the rest filler. On the bright side, Curt Hennig looked great and I hope the WWF reconsiders their snubbing of him so far, because god knows the main event needs a fresher face right about now. Thumbs down (under) for this mess.

As it turned out, WWF did reconsider and brought Hennig back at the 2002 Royal Rumble. He was a major player for a bit. Then the whole plane ride from hell happened. And then he went to TNA. Then he died. Sad.

Thankfully, I won't have to pay full freight, or any money for that matter. That's the good news. Bad news is, I have to listen to the German commentary. Nothing against German people; I don't know German. Oh well, gonna have to actually pay attention for once.