No Bad Wrestling Today... For Once

Well, today, I'm packing up for a move. Again. This will be my second move this year (back to Baltimore if anyone cares), and my third move in 21 months. So that'll be my focus. So... no bad wrestling to make nice about today.

Ok, I lied. But I won't be making nice about it. I can't make nice about incompetent booking like this.

The above picture you see is the current Bound for Glory Series standings.

Rank	Wrestler	Points	Matches
1	Magnus	39	7
2	Bobby Roode	34	8
3	Christopher Daniels	33	6
4	Austin Aries	28	7
5	Samoa Joe	26	9
6	Jeff Hardy	24	7
	Mr. Anderson	24	9
8	AJ Styles	22	8
	Kazarian	22	7
10	Joseph Park	17	8
11	Hernandez	7	7
12	Jay Bradley	0	7

And thanks to that wonderful source known as Wikipedia, this is how they got there. Bound for Glory is in a month and a half. No Surrender, the next big Impact of significance, is in two weeks. Only two men have wrestled nine matches in the series. So guess what TNA is doing? According to Wrestling Observer Newsletter, they're essentially gonna end it:

The entire thing is a mess because time is running out and of the 11 matches that would be necessary for each guy in a 12 man round-robin tournament, the guys have ranged from four to six matches completed with time running out.

So they are essentially dropping everything, doing the four matches this coming Thursday, and ending it from there with the top four point getters going to the 9/12 final four show.

And as Cageside Seats pointed out yesterday, with just three "must win Thursday" matches scheduled for tonight, no math can help Joseph Park, Hernandez, and Jay Bradley (who went 0-fer in the tournament after having to win a qualifying match to get in against a since-released Sam Shaw) get in the "No Surrender" Final Four. Samoa Joe, Mr. Anderson, and Jeff Hardy (all within two points of each other and four points of #4 Austin Aries), are also benched for the night, and will have to hope for someone to lose points to break through.

Unlike last year where D'Angelo Dinero got injured and stuff had to be shuffled around, no one got hurt in this group. The tournament began on June 6. That means they had three months to get everyone twelve matches. New Japan Pro Wrestling gets this right every year, and they knock it out in two weeks. (It's called the G1 Climax, and you oughta watch it if you can find it.) Why can't TNA?

The Hidden Good in WCW Halloween Havoc 1998

For about two years, WCW was on top of world: record television ratings, record revenue, record attendance. Combining the perfect storm of a once-in-a-lifetime storyline in the New World Order and smaller-sized wrestlers performing feats of athleticism rarely seen in a wrestling ring in the United States, World Championship Wrestling did what no other promotion was able to do: topple the World Wrestling Federation. In fact, for half of 1996 and all of 1997, Nitro, WCW’s Monday night offering, had beaten RAW, WWF’s Monday night show, in the ratings every week.

By the time Halloween Havoc arrived in October 1998, the 84-week streak had long ended (it ended in April when a teased Stone Cold Steve Austin-Vince McMahon world title match ended the run). The two programs spent the spring and summer jockeying for position as the go-to wrestling show on Monday. In the early summer, RAW, which had been closing the gap since the run-up to Wrestlemania XIV, gained victories, albeit narrow ones, over Nitro. The tide turned once again in August and September on the large shoulders of the Ultimate Warrior’s early appearances in WCW. It flipped to the WWF for the remainder of its head to head battle in October, save for one Monday night.

That night was the night following Halloween Havoc, when WCW forced to re-air the PPV’s main event between Bill Goldberg and Diamond Dallas Page for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Why so? The PPV, usually scheduled for three hours, went three and a half hours. Though WCW brass convinced some cable providers to clear the time, most did not—or could not, as many had to drop the broadcast at 11pm ET. The company was also forced to issue millions of dollars in refunds.

There were twelve matches on the supercard, though only nine were shown on the home video release (Wrath versus Meng, Alex Wright versus Fit Finlay, and Saturn versus Lodi were all cut out of the home version). The show is famous—or infamous—for the Hulk Hogan-Ultimate Warrior rematch from Wrestlemania VI. While their WWF match was meticulously worked out in detail to hide their glaring weaknesses, their WCW encounter…well… I’ll let others do the talking for me.

KB’s Wrestling Reviews: 

F. This is one of those matches that the best explanation as to why it sucks is to say “did you watch the match?” Neither guy was capable of putting on a decent match to save their lives at this point so they gave them fifteen minutes on PPV. The ending was bad, the big spot of the match was bad, the whole thing was bad. I don’t know who besides Hogan thought this was a good idea, but they need to be shot otherwise. This was an atrocious match and definitely one of the biggest bombs I’ve ever seen.

Jack Bramma of 411mania: 

…one of the worst matches of all time. This match proves a lot of things but first and foremost, Pat Patterson is a genius and never let it be doubted. Hogan is such a lazy heel during this period and this match that it's pathetic. He coasts so much on personality and promos (even if they are good) that it's sickening. Of course, Warrior had no idea what he was doing either and at several moments just openly stood around having no clue what to do next. And Nick Patrick was another in the line of sacrificial refs left to look incompetent because of unmotivated horseshit by the workers. I'm not going the negative full monty because I can imagine a worse match than this, I just hope I never see it. -****.

Jack didn’t, but Dave Meltzer of Wrestling Observer Newsletter did. It’s one of just four matches Dave gives the “minus five stars” treatment.

Mr. Socko’s Pro Wrestling Review: 

The phrase train-wreck gets banded around far too often these days, but if you were looking for a match to show wrestlers how not to do it, this would be it. To pick the worst moment is almost impossible, simply because there are so many. Was it when Hogan tried to throw a fireball in Warriors face, only to see the lit bit of cloth harmlessly fall to the ground? Was it the fact that you see about 3 moves and that most of the match was made up of Hogan and Warrior holding hands? Is it when Hogan says: "I'm killing you!" and Warrior responds: "You're killing me!"? What about when Hogan trips over the ref? Or perhaps it was the fact that this piece of shit would be Warrior's final match in WCW?

This was far from the worst show WCW put on. But in a company where virtually all its top talent skewed older (while their biggest competition the WWF skewed younger—in fact, the following month, they would put their world title on a 26-year old Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, at the time, the youngest world champion in its company’s history) and had creative control written into their contracts, two nWo factions, a slew of talent desperately looking to crack the glass ceiling, and a popular world champion booked in the undercard, this show was perhaps the most glaring sign to date that WCW had problems that money alone wasn’t going to cover up.

The good news: at least Goldberg versus Diamond Dallas Page was good.

Here’s what is and what isn’t worth your time. If the link’s in bold, watch it. If it’s not in bold, watch at your own risk.

• After the opening video package (here is where you appreciate WWF’s superior production: anyone with a little knowledge in video editing programs could put it together in a couple hours), we get the PPV debut of the Nitro Girls. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Nitro Girls. But this is PPV. Time is money.
• The segment following is a Rick Steiner interview featuring Buff Bagwell.
• Chris Jericho versus Raven for the WCW television title is probably the second best match on the card. Chris Jericho equals buyrates and butts in seats are both true (as evidenced by his runs in the WWF/E). Chris Jericho equals rock and roll is debatable. But the match is good and the crowd is white hot and loud. Also loud, the entrance music. So loud, in fact, you can’t hear the commentators during Raven’s entrance.
• Following a Hollywood Hogan promo (are we watching Nitro or a PPV?), we get Meng vs. Wrath. (Wrath wins in about four and a half minutes. It’s Worldwide quality.) Well, if you were watching this on PPV, you would. For everyone else, Disco Inferno versus Juventud Guerrera in a #1 contender’s match for the cruiserweight title was next. It’s a pretty decent bout, though it’s also something that could have been done on Thunder or Nitro to prevent one of these guys from going twice in one night.
• Now would be a good time to point out that Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero all are not on this show.
• More Nitro Girls (good, but again, PPV people), then a segment with Scott Steiner, The Giant and JJ Dillon. That combined is about six lost minutes.
• Actually, about sixteen minutes if you count the Alex Wright-Fit Finlay match and Saturn vs. Lodi match that didn’t make the home video release.
• But a third (and final) appearance by the Nitro Girls did. So I guess that’s about 18 minutes that could have been used for something else…like a better match.
• And since we’re not, it looked as if Disco had virtually no rest at all as the cruiserweight title match between Disco and Billy Kidman is up. It’s an okay match. It doesn’t exactly set the world on fire.
• Also not setting the world on fire: the 2,454^th playing of Konnan’s music video which, thankfully, is cut from the home video release.
• Not cut from the release however, is the tag title match between Scott Steiner and The Giant and Rick Steiner and the returning Buff Bagwell. Steiner claimed his partner Scott Hall was injured (he’s not; he wrestles later), so The Giant subs in. Per the pre-match stipulation, if Steiner and Bagwell win, then not only they get the belts, but Rick vs. Scott is on. Oh, and Bagwell turns on Rick. Again. My head hurts from typing all that. Worth note, The Giant does a top rope missile dropkick. Of course, Steiner wins the belts by himself. He am the tag team champions.
• And as promised, though Scott tried to bail, we get some Steiner on Steiner violence. Bret Hart versus Owen Hart this is not. Oh, and Buff Bagwell in a Clinton mask.
• Scott Hall versus Kevin Nash should have been far better than what they delivered. Scott Hall played drunk and drugged on TV (and was drunk and drugged off it—still is more than a decade later, though he’s trying to get himself cleaned up with help from Diamond Dallas Page). The ending would drive anyone into complete rage (two powerbombs by Nash followed by a countout loss).
• Whoops: here’s your last appearance by the Nitro Girls tonight. In colored wigs, no less.
• Also in the “should have been better than what they delivered” category: Bret Hart versus Sting for the WCW United States Championship. Even Bret Hart hated it. That alone should tell you how bad this match was. Oh, and there’s the stretcher job for Sting post-match that eats some time.
• I’ve given the bold to Hulk Hogan versus Warrior for one reason: this is an all-time train wreck that it’s hard to look away from. For many people watching on the original broadcast, this was the last match they saw, and they didn’t even see the whole thing. See, because of all the time wasted (four Nitro Girls performances, three matches that belonged on Worldwide or Saturday Night, two long promo segments in the first half hour, and a music video), WCW ran over on their own PPV and lost millions in revenue because of it. And the crazy thing was they didn’t have to. WCW had no one to blame but themselves.
• Shame really because Goldberg versus Diamond Dallas Page for the WCW world title was the tits, bro. The good news is we all got to see it—for free—21 hours after the fact. Easily in the top 5% of Goldberg matches ever. 

There was so much right and wrong with WCW. On this night, a whole lot of that wrong was on display to produce an event that was a critical, financial, and a public relations disaster. They had the tools to fix the problems, but they never quite put them to use efficiently.

Compliment Sandwich: WCW Uncensored 1995

It’s been called one of the worst PPVs not just in WCW history, but wrestling history. WCW Uncensored 1995, winner of Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s Worst Major Show of the Year, took place on March 19 from the Tupelo Coliseum in Tupelo, MS. The idea of the show was to have rivalries settled without WCW’s Board of Governors involvement. There were just seven matches on the card, each with a varying stipulation: a “King of the Road” match where the competitors would have work their way from the back of a flatbed truck to the front, a martial arts match, a boxer versus wrestler bout, a Texas tornado tag match, two no-DQ matches, and a strap match.

This would be the first of six Uncensored events for WCW. Though WCW closed down its doors in March 2001, their final PPV was Greed. Besides the hook of potential out-of-control violence, one of the main selling points of the show was the debut of Hulk Hogan’s “ultimate surprise”. You, the wrestling viewer that paid somewhere around $25 for this show via dialing up your local cable provider (or undoubtedly more if you were in the building that night), probably assumed this would be the WCW debut of the Ultimate Warrior. Not so much. (1) that wouldn’t come for about 3½ years (following one last brief run in the WWF that flopped something awful), and (2) they got someone else to play a ripoff. They got a Renegade. But we’ll get there later.

• The opening was what it was for 1995. Nothing mindblowing. However, WCW did nicely put up the following disclaimer for the show: "The program you are about to see is a first in World Championship Wrestling. The following pay-per-view event, Uncensored, has been established due to the many grudges and differences which have developed between wrestlers over the past few months. With this in mind, the WCW Board of Governors has the following statement: Every match at Uncensored will occur without the sanction of the WCW board. The following matches have been agreed upon by all involved and will be held solely to settle any personal disputes. Get ready for a professional wrestling event like none other….it’s now time for WCW…Unauthorized, Unsanctioned and UNCENSORED." Almost makes me want to watch if I’ve never seen this before. But then again, I’ve already decided to watch, so here it goes.
• Tony, Bobby, and Mike Tenay are on the call. Well, more like Tony and Bobby, as Mike is doing backstage interviews for the show. This is Tenay’s first gig in WCW since the When Worlds Collide PPV the previous year. Interesting little nugget: every WCW announcer at the time did not want to do that show. They missed out: there was a five-star match that night that involved the late Eddie Guerrero and Art Barr.
• Why are Schiavone, Heenan and Tenay in tuxedos? For Uncensored? Really?
• Tenay working double duty, as he’s working the WCW hotline as well.
• Dustin Rhodes vs. Blacktop Bully to start. This is a King of the Road match. A little backstory: this was done in the outskirts of Atlanta a few days earlier. The match was heavily edited due to excessive blood (read: blood) by Rhodes and Bully. Blacktop Bully was Smash, best known as ½ of the legendary Demolition in WWF, while Dustin Rhodes was the “son of a plumber”, Dusty, and would go on to great fame as Goldust. BTW: as a result of the blood, which was against WCW policy at the time, both competitors were fired.
• It is a first, Heenan. Thankfully, there hasn’t been a second.
• It should be worth pointing out they’re fighting ON A MOVING TRUCK.
• It should also be worth pointing out that the buyrate for this PPV was 0.95, or approximately 380,000 buys. 380,000 people bought this? I refuse to believe that.
• The sun is setting on Tupelo. Or not.
• Considering this PPV took place at 7pm ET, the sun should be down already.
• Bobby Heenan being Bobby Heenan. So far, this is the only thing that’s making ths PPV tolerable. And I’m only 12 minutes in.
• There’s no church bus.
• Fucking hack edit job. And Smash being crotched in the worst possible way.
• Holy shit, Smash is halfway off the truck. This could end real bad.
• Blacktop Bully gets the horn and the win.
• And fireworks, for some reason.
• Following an interview, Meng versus Hacksaw Jim Duggan is up. This is a “Martial Arts Match”. Sonny Onoo is your referee for some reason. This is his WCW debut. Pinfall or KO to win, not that the crowd knows that.
• Some serious stalling here by Duggan.
• Yokozuna nerve hold by Meng.
• 3-point clothesline on the money, but Meng no-sells.
• Sweet Chin Music by Meng. And that’ll do it. Of course it helps that both Onoo and Col. Rob Parker both had a hold of Duggan.
• Johnny B. Badd vs. Arn Anderson in a boxer versus wrestler match. 10 three-minute rounds, with one-minute rests between rounds. Pin, submission, or ten-count KO to win. Is the 10-point must system in effect?
• Why are we asking about Jimmy Hart in the beginning?
• Two minutes in, and Anderson’s offense has been non-existent.
• Easily 10-8 for Badd through one round.
• After a brief moment of offense by Anderson to start the round, AA is down.
• Anderson sweeps the leg, but misses the elbow.
• And down goes AA again.
• Anderson taking some abuse in the torso. Three knockdowns for Anderson. Three knockdown rule is not in effect.
• Four knockdowns.
• Anderson with a free shot from behind post-bell and a DDT. Clearly someone’s been paying attention—it’s Uncensored. They can’t call it.
• Anderson clearly not waiting for Round 3 to begin.
• Round 3 begins with Johnny B. Badd on the outside.
• 10-7 Badd in the previous round on my card.
• And for the first time in the match, AA has a sustained advantage.
• Roc Finnegan trying to choke out Arn Anderson. And shit’s broken down.
• What do we call that round: 10-8 Anderson? Sounds about right.
• Finnegan cuts one of the gloves. And Arn is trying to get any advantage.
• Round 4, and Arn has a bucket over his head to start. That’s not good.
• Anderson down with a big right and a big left, and Arn’s down. The crowd is apeshit. He’s sleep.
• Johnny B. Badd by KO at 30 seconds of Round 4.
• Not gonna lie, but I liked this match. Straight boxing for about six minutes, then wrestling for about five, then comedy to wrap it up. Harmless fun.  
• Macho Man promo. GET THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! I’LL KNOCK YOU OUT! NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! Yeah, Tenay. Who do you think you are? Dude wrestled in front of 90,000 people once. Who the fuck is you?
• “Macho Man” Randy Savage versus Avalanche, no disqualification. Remember this. There will be a quiz in a moment.
• Here’s a little nugget: despite both having been employed by the WWF for about four years, the two never met in a one-on-one match until this point.
• Random thought: this is the first of three matches in a row in which at least one participant is dead now. In this case, the only person alive is the referee Nick Patrick.
• We’re calling rope breaks? Really?
• Countouts? I thought were under no rules.
• Sunset flip by Macho Man… well, how did you expect that to go? Fuck.
• That was three on that rollup.
• And a fan runs up on Savage. Clearly, security is not working this PPV.
• That is Ric Flair in drag.
• RIC FLAIR IN DRAG.
• RIC FLAIR. IN DRAG.
• Hulk Hogan. Thankfully, not in drag,
• RIC FLAIR IS IN DRAG. FUCK MY LIFE.
• Macho Man wins by disqualification.
• MACHO MAN. BY DISQUALIFICATION. IN A NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH. Cue Cornette face.
• FLAIR IN DRAG FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I couldn’t agree more, Schiavone.
• Sting versus Big Bubba Rogers up next. Anything goes. So… no DQ like the last match. Big Bubba is best remembered as The Big Boss Man, aka Ray Traylor. Yes, that Boss Man that got hung up on a cell that one time.
• Bubba has the look of a Chicago gangster.
• And Sting is of course Sting. Blonde Sting.
• Big Bubba Rogers is big. And fat.
• Ass drop on a hat. I have officially seen everything.
• Fat ass Bubba working on the knee of Sting. Smart strategy if you think about it.
• Fans do not seem to approve.
• Holy shit, this match has slowed to a crawl.
• Sting apparently has blown out his knee…twice at least by 1995.
• Holy shit, Bubba gotta have a broken freaking neck off that German suplex.
• Sting’s knee craps out on an attempted scoop slam, and Big Bubba wins. Wow. The air just came out of the building.
• Tornado rules match: Harlem Heat versus the Nasty Boys. And the tag belts are on the line. I thought this was Uncensored. WCW officials had nothing to do with this. So we have a sanctioned title match on this PPV? Wait, what?
• Sister Sherri out with the tag belts. But no Harlem Heat.
• Nasty Boys are here. Where’s Harlem Heat?
• Paging Booker T and Stevie Ray.
• There they are. From behind to start. Hardcore tornado rules.
• They just slam dunked Knobbs.
• Gonna need two referees for this one I’m afraid.
• Sherri’s in.
• And her face is in Knobbs’ armpit.
• That’ll mess up her makeup. –Bobby Heenan. I disagree. That may be an improvement.
• They’re fighting in the concession stands. And it’s a mess. I didn’t realize this until reading about this PPV this morning: the concession stand brawl is a nod to one that took place in the same town in 1979. The brawl is considered to be a benchmark for early hardcore wrestling.
• There’s mustard everywhere.
• Everybody’s slipping.
• And Sherri nearly loses her top.
• And there goes the funnel cake stand.
• And the bell rings. Nasty Boys win. Ohhhhhhhhhkay….
• Knobbs pins Booker T with a fall forward slam.
• Apparently, this was not a title match. The Nasty Boys do win the belts about two months later.
• Michael Buffer with the intro. Sanctioned by the WCW Board of Directors. Wait, what?
• Anyways, main event time. Hulk Hogan vs. Vader in a non-title leather strap match. This is not to be confused with the Yappapi Indian strap match from the same event in 2000.
• Vader out first with Ric Flair. Still with eyeliner on.
• Hogan out next with no Jimmy Hart, and no ultimate surprise.
• Where is the renegade?
• Fuck. I just realized that Randy Anderson not only died, he’s been dead for over a decade. Cancer sucks, yo.
• Renegade in at 150 miles an hour and what not. And he’s all up in Ric Flair’s face. Looks like Flair’s gonna be watching from afar.
• Seriously though, the people were expecting Ultimate Warrior. Not cool, WCW. Not cool.
• Random thought: show of hands if you thought nearly 20 years later, the real Ultimate Warrior is still alive and the fake one would be dead.
• Match apparently will proceed without a referee.
• And Flair gets back to ringside. Some block Renegade is.
• Hogan’s biting Vader.
• A wild Renegade appears. And he’s doing his job. He gonna kill Ric Flair.
• Flair back at ringside.
• It’s a Vader splash, Schiavone.
• A wild Jimmy Hart appears.
• Three chairshots and Vader won’t go down.
• A fourth one puts him down.
• I believe that is #1.
• Quickly followed by #2.
• About twelve minutes in there’s been no attempt to win this match.
• Hogan’s up. Of course.
• Masked man with chair to Renegade. Then Ric Flair with chair to Hulk Hogan.
• Vader had the match in hand, but he misses a tuck and roll from the second rope. Way to go, ass.
• Flair with chair to Hogan…and Hogan is piiiiiiissssssssseeeeed.
• Hogan’s hooked Flair to the strap. Hogan’s barely hooked himself.
• Hogan takes the lap around, and apparently it counts. DA FUQ?
• It’s 3-on-2. And Arn Anderson’s tied up. Ut oh.
• A wild Macho Man appears.
• Yeah. And scene.
• My God, this is awful. I need a shower after that.

In a year that had a 38-minute 30-man Royal Rumble, Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, Diesel vs. Mabel, a monster truck sumo match on top of a building (all as main events), and an entire PPV that took place on an actual beach, the show that was deemed “uncensored, uncut, unbelievable” proved to be the exact opposite on two counts (not uncensored, and definitely not uncut), and so unbelievable my words alone cannot do it justice. The show has exactly one decent match, but is so plodding in parts, I can’t in good conscience recommend watching it. I can’t even bring myself to say anything nice about WCW Uncensored 1995.  

Unsanctioned, Uncut, Unauthorized, Unbelievable, Unsuitable for Human Consumption

If you were a fan of WCW, you had to put up with a lot of hot garbage. Truthfully, in the mid-1990s, if you were a fan of any major promotion in the United States, you had to put up with a lot of hot garbage. But hey, at least it was safe for children to watch. After all, you didn’t have to worry about things such as swearing or blood or other adult-like things that television was increasingly getting filled with. Remember when everyone made a big stink (no pun intended) of Dennis Franz’s naked ass on NYPD Blue? At least in wrestling, you didn’t have to worry about such a thing.

In fact, if you watched WCW, you didn’t have to worry about such a thing…pretty much ever. Because of Turner’s standards and practices, there was no blood, swearing, man-on-woman violence, or other adult-like things to worry about on WCW programming. It was family friendly, by God. (By late 1999, WCW would change their tune pretty much entirely, but that’s a different story.) Well, except for one night a year. That one night: Uncensored.

WCW Uncensored is often said to be a precursor to the WWE PPV Extreme Rules, but a more accurate analogy would be the ECW One Night Stand PPV that WWE put on in 2005 and 2006. It would be the one night of the year that anything goes and every match on the show was deemed unsanctioned by WCW. The following disclaimer ran in the opening moments of the first edition in 1995:

"The program you are about to see is a first in World Championship Wrestling. The following pay-per-view event, Uncensored, has been established due to the many grudges and differences which have developed between wrestlers over the past few months. With this in mind, the WCW Board of Governors has the following statement: Every match at Uncensored will occur without the sanction of the WCW board. The following matches have been agreed upon by all involved and will be held solely to settle any personal disputes. Get ready for a professional wrestling event like none other….it’s now time for WCW…Unauthorized, Unsanctioned and UNCENSORED."

A few things of note: this is pre-Nitro, pre-Cruiserweight division, and just happened to occur on the same week Michael Jordan’s return to basketball after a fifteen-month “retirement” and Mike Tyson being released from jail after spending three years on rape charges. Bobby Heenan lumping this with Vader ending Hulkamania to call it the biggest week in the history of sports is classic Bobby Heenan. It would also be incorrect. I don’t know what the correct answer would be, but if you have an idea, let me know.

The 1995 edition, emanating from the wrestling hotbed that is the Tupelo Coliseum in Tupelo, Mississippi, is one of the worst PPVs of all time. So bad that Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer Newsletter named it the Worst Major Wrestling Show of the Year (the 1996 sequel also took home that “honor”). The show featured just seven matches, but it had quite the variety: a Texas tornado tag match, a “King of the Road” match, a strap match, even a boxer vs. wrestler match.

But how bad can it really be?

KB’s Wrestling Reviews: 

Overall Rating: O. As in oh what do you think I’m going to give this show? This is freaking terrible. The thing is though, the idea actually isn’t that bad: a hardcore PPV. The problem is it was about as thrown together as you could ask for. None of the gimmicks made any sense and the regular matches were boring. Also the main event being non title makes it sound weak. 

Jack Bramma of 411mania in 2012: 

They have a special circle in hell for wrestling shows like this. This thing will suck your soul dry of all the humanity inside you. Please, don't watch this. But if you MUST, you have to be under the same cocktail of influences that the booking committee was at the time. 

Scott Keith: 

The show is brutally bad, but it’s brutally bad in a Vince Russoish car crash sort of way, rather than WCW’s usual brutally boring sort of bad.
 That’s probably about the nicest thing I can think of to say about this show, and as my mother always says, if you can’t say anything nice about a show, don’t say anything at all… 

Good thing I had some cocktails and an energy drink. I’ll probably need it to get through this travesty. 

Compliment Sandwich: Spring Stampede 2000

A thought most random: how far off from center is the Spring Stampede logo on the left? Everything else looks centered, or at least aligned that way. It's just odd.

The final Spring Stampede in WCW history took place on April 16, 2000 from the United Center in Chicago. There were five of these events, first in 1994, then for four consecutive years from 1997 to 2000. The last Spring Stampede was also the first PPV of the Russo-Bischoff booking regime. This was coming off the heels of an Uncensored PPV that left a taste so bad that the only way to wash it away was to blow it up and start over. Kevin Sullivan, who replaced Vince Russo in booking originally, was himself replaced by both Russo and Eric Bischoff, one of the key components of the rise of WCW to the world's top wrestling promotion in the late 1990s.

When WCW was starting over, they were starting over. All titles were vacated, any feuds to this point were thrown out, and the roster was basically divided between young talent, dubbed the New Blood, and established talent, dubbed the Millionaires Club. All this was done, by the way, on April 10, less than a week before the PPV. In less than a week, WCW would completely turn itself over. But would it be for the better?

Let's try and make nice with Spring Stampede 2000.

This video package literally could open a Nitro. But the PPV came first, so it opens the PPV.

• Speaking of video packages, it’s worth saying. Even in 2000, the WWF was the truth in putting stuff like this together.
• Literally the same set used for Nitro is being used for Spring Stampede. Good God, not even WWE with their HD set does this for PPVs. It makes your company look cheap. That shit grinds my gears.
• DQ rules are being relaxed tonight. They did that the previous Monday, and three matches that night ended in a DQ.
• 5:40 in, we finally have our first entrance. Tag team title qualifier with the Mamalukes (later known as FBI in WWE) versus Team Package (Ric Flair and Lex Luger).
• Flair’s fired up. I approve. And he’s coming in his evening gear.
• Team Package should not be coming out to Lex Luger’s music. Ric Flair’s on the team, his music gets played. That’s a fact.
• Never mind. Solo entrance for “The Total Package” aka “The Final Answer” Lex Luger. His music has a Millionaire vibe.
• WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• And already, Iron Man Vince Russo.
• And the Harris Brothers. I guess they’re in the match too. A three-team qualifier.
• And at 10:55, we have our opening match. Way too long to get to match #1 of the PPV.
• Not even the commentators can make of what would happen if the Harrises win. That’s not a good sign.
• Flair never hits that top rope move. He did maybe twice in WWE.
• Somebody’s mad at Disco. Two guys take him away. I totally approve. He’s a waste of space.
• That clothesline by Johnny The Bull was pretty impressive. Took a bit long to set up though.
• Team Package wins via Human Torture Rack of Doom.
• We’re muting “Damn.” Really, WCW? This is PPV.
• A wild Bam Bam Bigelow appears.
• Mike Awesome beats on Bam Bam Bigelow for some reason.
• Mancow versus Jimmy Hart next. I’ll skip.
• Kidman beats down Jimmy Hart post-match. Shot in the direction of Hulk Hogan.
• The Wall versus Scott Steiner. This is the first quarterfinal in the US Championship Tournament. Seven matches on this show focus on this tournament. Scott Steiner coming out to the old Steiner Brothers music for some reason.
• 32:53. We have a disqualification. The Wall chokeslammed a referee through the table. Scott Steiner goes forward. So much for relaxing the DQ rule.
• A wild Bam Bam Bigelow appears.
• Mike Awesome making his in-ring WCW debut against Ernest Miller. Quarterfinal match in the WCW US title tournament.
• A wild Bam Bam Bigelow appears. He took Miller’s place—literally.
• Ernest Miller dances. Do not approve.
• Awesome kills Miller. Three-and-a-half-star frog splash. Drive home safely. Awesome wins.
• Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell versus Harlem Heat in the second qualifying match for the tag titles. Oh wait… it’s Harlem Heat 2000. Stevie Ray and Fat Ahmed Johnson, who is fat. Fuck.
• Shane Douglas enters as Buff Bagwell’s video plays on the screen. Figure that out.
• Yeah, I’m gonna skip. Only have to jump about three minutes.
• Booker T vs. Sting in a quarterfinal match for the US title tournament.
• Oh wait…Booker. He somehow lost the rights to use the letter “T” in his name. Fuck this company.
• Sting’s Metallica theme was always awesome. That’s a fact.
• Holy shit, this match is the tits right now.
• Schiavone said that neither of these men were close to done. Less than a minute later, Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathdrop.
• Post-match fist pump out of respect.
• Vampiro versus Billy Kidman (with Torrie Wilson) in the last quarterfinal. Winner gets Sting.
• Holy shit, Vampiro nearly killed Kidman with that release powerbomb.
• Second powerbomb attempt fails. One does not simply powerbomb Kidman.
• Third attempt also fails. Vampiro has learned nothing.
• A wild Hollywood Hogan appears. Shit is about to get real.
• Hell, if you can collect a PPV bonus without wrestling a match, go for it.
• Guess we’re not calling a DQ for that.
• Hogan versus Kidman is the root of this Millionaires Club-New Blood feud. Something about a flea market.
• Punjabi Plunge to the announce table, and table didn’t budge an inch.
• Scoop slam fixes that though.
• Vampiro wins. He’s not gonna apologize for it.
• ERIC BISCHOFF, HULK HOGAN’S COMIN’ FOR YOU NIGGA!
• Angry Ho Kogan is looking to choke a bitch.
• Some of Chicago’s finest… oh shit. Shit’s getting too real. Somebody’s got a gun out. No bueno.
• Next match begins as Hogan is being carried out in cuffs.
• They’re all rats. Whole cafeteria’s a bunch of rats.
• Terry Funk versus Norman Smiley for the hardcore title. Norman’s about to get ass raped, yo.
• My… my diet soda.
• A wild Dustin Rhodes appears.
• Terry Funk wins and is hardcore champion. Of course.
• Not gonna lie. It was a fun match. Stupid fun, but fun.
• Russo wants Booker T to do him an egg. This, by the way, is the last time we see Booker tonight, so we never find out what that egg is.
• And speaking of doing people an egg, Scott Steiner takes on Mike Awesome in the first US title tournament semifinal.
• Cops used guns; they didn’t even get disqualified. What does that have to do with anything?
• A wild Kevin Nash appears. With a crutch. And he takes it to the back of Awesome.
• Actually, this would be the last time Booker appears. Vince Russo fires Dustin Rhodes. Meh. No big loss.
• Vampiro versus Sting in the second semifinal of the US title tournament. Winner gets Scott Steiner.
• And Sting moves forward. The lone member of the Millionaires Club is in the final match. Of course.
• Kimberly looks goooood, yo.
• Two-thirds of 3 Count, Shannon Moore and Shane Helms, and their horrible, horrible song. This has to be one of the ten worst theme songs ever.
• Enter Prince Iaukea, Lash Leroux, Crowbar, and Juventud Guerrera. And Chris Candido. Cruiserweight title match. Sudden death. First fall gets the vacated title.
• Everybody kill everybody.
• A wild Daffney appears.
• A wild David Flair appears.
• A wild Paisley appears.
• A wild Tammy Lynn Sytch appears. Four run-ins in less than three minutes. And pushes the Prince off the top rope.
• Chris Candido, Tammy’s main squeeze, picks up the win.
• Tammy: the most complete female performer in wrestling history? REALLY? Even in 2000, I can’t buy that. I mean, at least Sable took a bump in her WWF run. Tammy didn’t. Not one.
• Paisley and Tammy: catfight!
• Shannon Moore and Charles Robinson pay a pretty hard price. Protect yourselves at all times.
• Tag title match: Team Package vs. Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell. This, by the way, ill be the first time Douglas and Flair have been in a proper match together since Shane began his vendetta in the early 1990s.
• Buff Bagwell really asking for a Code of Honor?
• Flair still in his street clothes. Did he legitimately forget his ring gear or something?
• Ugly collision by Flair and Douglas.
• And Ric fails to complete the cartwheel.
• He finishes the second time. Only to get clotheslined from the apron.
• WOOOOOOOOOO!
• Wild Kronik appears.
• Fuck that finish.
• 12 matches in, and 10 had a run-in.
• Scott Steiner’s left arm vein is bigger than Sting’s arms. Ah, Steiner math.
• Steiner will face Sting in the United States Championship match. Both men are on their third match this evening.
• How does one not respect Sting? I mean, for reals?
• Vampiro? Da fuq?
• And Scott Steiner went full blast to that corner and may have knocked himself out. And to answer your question, Scott Hudson, no.
• Sting’s dead. Scott Steiner’s the new United States Champion. He’s now won ever belt to win in WCW (excluding the hardcore title) but the big one.
• That’s 11 of 13 that had a run-in. Add to the DQ earlier, and that’s one match that ended clean and decisive. I don’t expect that count to go up.
• And holy shit, Michael Buffer is NOT doing the introductions. I approve. Nothing against Buffer, but him doing it for damn near every Nitro and PPV (and the occasional Thunder) gets a little old pretty damn quick.
• Love the Wrestlemania XIV-esque walks from the locker room to the ring.
• The Big Bent Gold Belt at stake.
• A wild gray-haired Eric Bischoff appears.
• A wild Kimberly Page appears. Oh wait, she was at ringside already. Carry on.
• DDP with a Diamond Cutter on himself.
• And Jarrett with the title shot to the face.
• Not gonna lie: this match’s pretty good. Kinda overbooked, but pretty good.
• Of course Kimberly “El Kabong”s her hubby.
• Stroke, and Jeff Jarrett’s finally the champ of the world.

Boy, this PPV was both fun and frustrating. Fun because recent WCW PPVs at the time were anything but. The general consensus was that locker room morale was as good as it’s ever been in recent memory at the time of the show. But the two hours and 40 minutes show both what WCW could have been and what WCW really was in the Russo-Bischoff era. It was a mess. It was overbooked. And all too often, it didn’t make sense. But it was better than Uncensored.

Spring Stampede 2000: A Live Ctrl+Alt+Del Exercise

In early spring 2000, the WWF was pretty much getting its act together. Though the Attitude was still there from the past couple years, much of its over-the-top controversy that got them over them hump against WCW was gone. In its place were storylines that made more logical sense and better in-ring action. They were coming off a good, but not great Wrestlemania that had a result that shocked everyone: Triple H, the top heel and WWF Champion, won the main event match. He was the first WWF Champion to successfully defend since his friend Kevin “Diesel” Nash did so at Wrestlemania XI, and the first heel to win the main event match of the signature show (sorry, Yokozuna, you don’t count). Though they were not doing the record numbers in ratings from the previous year, they were firmly entrenched as the top wrestling promotion in North America.

WCW in spring 2000: not so much. Six months earlier in a major coup, WCW brought in Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara to turn the company around. This was following the firing of Eric Bischoff, the man overseeing the rise and subsequent fall of WCW. The Russo-Ferrara regime ruffled many feathers in WCW, and after just three months, they were sent away in favor of a booking committee headed by Kevin Sullivan. That proved to be the final straw for a number of wrestlers, notably Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, and Eddie Guerrero. Not even putting the world title on Benoit could sooth the situation, and the quartet left for the WWF. Inexplicably, the Sullivan booking committee left WCW in a worse condition than Russo and Ferrara, and after just three months, both Russo and Bischoff were called back to fix a broken WCW. Their solution: blow it up following their annual Spring Break show and start over on April 10. On that night, everyone holding a championship at the time were stripped of it and had to win it back in a match or a tournament. The night also set the course of WCW over the spring and early summer: two warring factions, one, a group of established veterans known as the “Millionaires Club”; the other, a group of talent pushed aside for said veterans in the “New Blood”.

Less than a week later, we get the first PPV of this angle and of the Russo-Bischoff era, Spring Stampede. Eminating from the United Center in Chicago, the night mainly served as a purpose to crown all new champions. There were fourteen matches on the card, five more than Wrestlemania 2000 which took place two weeks earlier (and ran a few minutes longer than Spring Stampede). Ten of the matches were tournament matches to crown tag team and United States champions (seven of the fourteen matches involve the US title alone), while the world title match main event was a final from the tournament that took place during that week. The cruiserweight and hardcore titles were one-off matches to determine a new champion. And for some reason, Mancow wrestled. Yeah.

So, is it bad? Let’s find out.

From Unchained Entertainment: 

Spring Stampede is by FAR the best WCW PPV of 2000 thus far. It still has a lot of flaws though. 

I guess that’s high praise considering what came before it.

Arnold Furious of 411mania, what say you? 

Surprisingly refreshing after a dearth of horrible bottom feeding PPV’s. Of course compared to good shows this still isn’t up to much.

Okay, it’s… it’s promising. Scott Keith?

Still, the show was entertaining enough for a thumbs in the middle, but that’s under the “throw enough shit at the wall and eventually something sticks” theory of booking, and I can’t foresee them maintaining that frenetic pace for long without the fans getting tired of it. Well, better this than Sullivan or Nash, I guess.

KB’s Wrestling Reviews: 

D. If you’re a fan of tournaments, RUN out and find a copy of this show because it’s all your fantasies come true. Otherwise, it’s three hours of sloppy brawling in place of wrestling and a total of maybe two watchable matches out of 13. This was a nothing show and shows the problems of rebooting the freaking company six days before a PPV. Not a fan of this at all as the company was on the verge of its final downward spiral due to Russo booking the company so far into the ground it couldn’t see the light of day. Bad show due to the booking being WAY too overdone.

DDT Digest:

Wow! I hope I'm not exaggerating too much (as I've been known to do), but since I've been covering WCW pay-per-views for Bill, this was by far the best. There was not a stinker match in the bunch. Even the ones that had the potential to suck, like the Funk-Smiley and the match were great. Even the Mancow-Jimmy Hart match was well done and pretty funny. Mike Awesome was simply incredible in his WCW debut. Hogan actually did something I liked. Tammy Sytch showed up. Tony Schiavone said "bulls-t." Overall, the show was fast-paced, as were the matches, and I haven't seen the "Millionaires' Club" work their butt off like this in a long time. The thing that fired me up most is that it looks like they're setting up Booker for a huge run. The only weird thing was the whole Vampiro/Sting thing. It was interesting, but weird. This one will be hard to follow up tomorrow night. One thing's for sure, I wanna see Nitro tomorrow night, and that's the first time I can honestly say that in a long time.

Wow. We’re all over the place with this one. Guess I gotta see the carnage for myself. Can a wrestling company start over and put together a decent PPV in a single week? Can I say nice things about said PPV? Answer later.

Side nugget: this was WCW's second world title tournament in less than a year. They had one (32-man tournament...well, more like 31 men and a woman... or something... six months earlier.)

Compliment Sandwich: RAW 8/19/13

Haven’t done one in a hot minute, so let’s get to it: good and bad things about last night's RAW in alternating fashion.

• Let’s get this out of the way: I love… love… LOVE angry Daniel Bryan. Angry Daniel Bryan is the best Daniel Bryan, and…holy shit, guys, he went in HARD on Stephanie McMahon. In his first segment as the #1 babyface in WWE, D-Bry did well for himself. He’s no B+, my man, my woman. He’s an A with two pluses, minimum. Side nugget: remember that time when WWE had nearly every top star out at the same time for about two months in 2001? Or when Smackdown had nearly every top star out at once in 2007? That’s sorta where WWE is right now. If D-Bry gets hurt, WWE’s in deep shit. That brings me to this…
• I hate that I have to have been subjected to John Cena’s elbow to start RAW. I can’t unsee that. Thanks, USA Network. Speaking of that elbow…
• I like that John Cena’s gonna go away for a while. No, this isn’t Cena hate talking. This is a guy that hasn’t had a lot of off time, and he and his character BOTH need it. I don’t wish injury on anyone, but the injury couldn’t have come at a better time for Cena…or worse for USA. Holy shit, they’re gonna get slaughtered when football season comes.
• Seriously though: never show that elbow again. EVER.
• I hate what has become of Sin Cara. He was Triple H’s first signee back in 2010, and holy shit, has this dude flopped. And Sin Cara himself has to share in the blame. In three years, he’s spent about half of it on the DL, and when he is available, he has by many accounts not acclimated himself to the WWE style (nor his co-workers). His dislocated finger(s) may be the final straw for the man formerly known as Mistico.
• I may be the in the minority, but I like the pairing of Ricardo Rodriguez and Rob Van Dam. Yeah, I and all of America were expecting Rey Mysterio, but I guess this will have to do. Maybe this leads to the return of Mysterio down the line, because we know RVD’s not winning this feud. Ricardo’s back though, so it’s cool.
• Los Matadores are Epico and Primo, repackaged? I so do not like. Tell me, WWE, how has the repackaging of Joe Hennig worked out for you? Speaking of which…
• CM Punk going all “and you shut up, fat boy!” on some fat dude in the front row is awesome. I love that. Know what I also loved? Punk murdering the shit out of Curtis Axel. He has mattered for like two weeks total. And that includes his time as Michael McGillicutty.
• Anything involving Total Divas gets an automatic hate. Period. A new crop of divas cannot come fast enough.
• I love the GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE! from Roman Reigns. And I love Dolph Ziggler’s selling of said gore. It’s not a spear when Roman does it, and I will not refer to it as such.
• I hate that The Shield had to go twice last night. Hate it because two-thirds of The Shield are potentially hurt. Seth Rollins banged his knee pretty hard, and Roman Reigns, himself on the business end of a GORE from Big Show, practically liquefied his insides.
• Though the trio bringing down the hammer of justice (that’s what I call that three-man powerbomb) on Big Show is always awesome looking. Like that.
• Should have mentioned this earlier: I hate pantsuit Stephanie McMahon. It’s like her only outfit now on WWE programming. If you’re gonna be a heel, (a) get some new wardrobe, and (b) slut it up a little. There’s a way to make it work in PG WWE. Figure that shit out.
• Bray Wyatt referring to himself as the new face of fear? I like that, though if some combination of the Yet-tay, a dead Avalanche, Kevin Sullivan, and Ed “The Butcher” Leslie walk through that door with you, we’re gonna have to fight, okay? Thanks. Side nugget: people are clapping along to his theme song. It’s gonna be sing along in about two months.
• For about a year, I blasted Tensai on Twitter every time he came on my television. Guy was stealing money. That honor as of now goes to Wade Barrett, pit fighter. He’s done nothing of significance since getting his elbow blowed out. I hate this guy is on my TV.
• I did like, however, they paired him with two other wastes of time in the same segment: Fandango and The Miz, which, by the way, came off the heels of a 3MB versus Usos match. Remember when the Usos were a thing? Viewer dropoff’s gonna be huge, ya’ll. That leg drop from Fandango was the truth, though.
• I hate the Corporate Shield. It pretty much goes against the purpose of why they came to WWE in the first place. Just saying.
• I like heel COO H. And heel Randy Orton, dream killer (Christian, Chris Benoit, and Daniel Bryan’s first title runs all ended at the hands of Randy Orton). I also liked that they actually took a moment to explain why the two are paired up with the McMahons proper.
• What, COO H? You didn’t do it for The Rock? DO. NOT. LIKE. If you didn’t do it for The Rock, you did it wrong. Fuck you, Triple H.
• I like Daniel Bryan, little scrapper. After getting his ass handed to by The Shield, and handing them said ass, Daniel Bryan, with what little strength he had left, finally made it to the ring, only to get the business end of an RKO.
• Fuck it. I hated that ending. That shit depressed me. It also depresses me that about 75% of all RAWs from here to Wrestlemania 30 will end like that. But it’s necessary. If you’re gonna sell the underdog/redemption story, said underdog has to get his shit kicked in. A lot.

So we now have the storyline that will carry us through at least football season: Daniel Bryan as a man alone against the WWE machine. And he literally is a man alone. John Cena and Sheamus are likely out for the remainder of the year, meaning he’ll be the babyface flagbearer. We’ll find out sooner rather than later whether WWE can ride with Daniel Bryan long-term. More importantly, we’ll find out if fans have the patience to stick out the ride through its ups and many, many, many downs.

P.S. Notice how WWE made absolutely no mention of Darren Young coming out last week? I like that. I purposefully did that for this compliment sandwich. Plus the Primetime Players were taking on the Real Americans. Sorry, but Jack Swagger’s a reason to change the channel.